There will never be another River
by yesimadramaqueen
Summary: Maliver/Rayne/M/I. Mal is with Inara when he starts getting closer to River. When he finds out River has started something with Jayne and she's spending more time with him, Mal realizes just how much he cares about her.
1. Chapter 1

He kissed her hard, savoring the way her lips felt against his and the way they tasted. Like sugar and herbal tea. _Ai ya_, he could see why she was a Companion. She was the best kisser in the 'verse, he was convinced.

They finally broke apart, gasping for oxygen. She looked at him with her sultry almond eyes lined with dark mascara and eyeliner. A smile crossed her beautiful face while her fingers got tangled in his hair.

"Mal, you know that we can't. Not tonight. I have to wake up early and head out to meet with Mr. Zu."

"I know…just sayin' goodnight is all…" he replied with a grin.

"Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

He kissed her again. This kiss wasn't as forcefully or fiery, but it was sweeter and more romantic. He flashed another quick grin in her direction before giving her a ridiculous bow. She laughed.

"Get out of my shuttle," she chided teasingly.

"Yes, Ms. Serra."

She rolled her eyes and shoved him towards the door. He looked back with a quiet passion simmering under his cool blue eyes before walking out and shutting the door behind him.

Ever since Miranda they had been closer. He worked up the nerve to ask her to stay this time and she agreed. Just a week later they were together. It had been a month or so since they first got together and about five months since Mr. Universe's moon. She stayed onboard, making up excuses to hang around until he finally flat out asked her to take up permanent residence on his ship…for the time being.

He was glad to be with her. He was. But there was something wrong with their young relationship. Mal prided himself in being an okay guy, but he had his pressure points like everyone does. One of them, sadly, was jealousy. He knew that Inara loved her job. Hell, he'd love to have sex for a living. Still, they were together and he hated the idea of saying to her, "_Have a good day at work!"_ knowing that she was off to sex up another man.

Not only that, but whenever she had her…"meetings" with her clients they couldn't be together. Not that it was about the sex. It just hurt him that they could rarely be together because she had to screw some rich loser the next day. It was meaningless he knew. He couldn't ask her to give up her job for him. He wouldn't. He'd just…deal with it.

He went to his bunk to get some sleep. After a few hours of tossing and turning and a failed attempt at sleep, he decided to get something to drink or eat…or both. He pulled a shirt on without bothering to button it and he didn't bother with pants since he already had his pajama bottoms on.

He scaled his ladder and shut the hatch. Shortly after that he wandered into the kitchen to see what he could whip up for a late night snack.

"Wrong. Galileo."

Mal jumped when he heard the unmistakable voice of River Tam. She was sitting at the table with a cup of coffee and Simon's encyclopedia. Her hair was falling down into her face. How she could see was beyond him. She looked up and brushed her hair back tucking it behind her ears.

"Captain," she said flatly.

"Uh hi…" he scrambled to button his shirt. He was expecting to run into anyone, let alone River. It was the middle of the night. Everyone should have been asleep.

She went back to the encyclopedia while he went over to the counter to get something to drink. He decided to go with coffee since she had made some. He finished buttoning his shirt and walked over to the table.

"Mind if I sit?" he asked. She shook her head no, so he sat across from her.

He was so used to being up alone. It was odd to be in the company of anyone else.

"What are you up to?" he attempted to start a conversation. She was so busy with whatever she was doing. He doubted she'd bother with an idiot like him.

"This is wrong. Theories are all off. Galileo."

"Who?"

"Galileo. Earth-that-was astronomer, mathematician, philosopher, and physicist. Based on his principal of relativity, the laws of physics are the same for all observers in uniform motion relative to one another. F equals ma. Vector sum, all 'real' forces. Electromagnetic, gravitational, nuclear. Rotating frame of reference, vector cross product, centrifugal force, nucleosynthesis. It doesn't add up."

She looked up at him with an exasperated sigh and set the pad down. He had no idea what she had just said. She smiled and put the encyclopedia away. He was relieved that he could escape all of the math…science…whatever the hell she was talking about. She was always good to try to simplify things lately. She had regained most of her sanity and her bad days had basically disappeared.

"So what's got you up and about at this hour?" he asked.

"I couldn't sleep."

"Me neither. What's keepin' you up?"

"Lonely. I don't like sleeping alone in the passenger dorms."

"I thought Simon was down there."

She gave him a priceless River look. "He's not. He's with Kaylee. _Right now_."

"Let's not talk 'bout that."

She laughed. "I agree."

"I'm sorry 'bout you bein' left alone down there…"

"It's not a problem. I prefer sleeping on Kaylee's hammock in the engine room anyway."

"How is that comfortable?"

"It is. It's near the heart. Heartbeat's like a lullaby."

He nodded. River loved Serenity just as much as he did. Gorram, she was the quickest leaner he'd ever met. She learned how to fly the ship within two days and she was just as good as Wash was. He still missed Wash and Book, but he didn't talk about it much. He wasn't the type to grieve outwardly. It wasn't who he was.

"Why couldn't you sleep?" she asked.

"Well…" he paused and looked at her with a faint smile. "You already know what I'm gonna say."

"Just because I know doesn't mean that you don't have to vocalize it. If that were the case, I'd rarely have conversations with anyone."

"True. I was just a bit restless I s'ppose."

"Lonely too."

"Hm?"

"Nothing."

"You said somethin' 'bout bein' lonely."

"I did. I said…you're lonely too."

He thought for a moment. "Maybehaps I was."

She skimmed the surface of his mind. She didn't like to snoop, but sometimes, especially with him, she had to figure him out.

"You aren't with her."

"What?" Mal asked. She was always ten steps ahead.

"Inara. You can't sleep because she isn't there when she should be."

"Well…it isn't that she…_should_ be or anything…she ain't mine to own…I mean…" he stopped. Why was he talking to her? They were closer, but not close enough to be pouring his heart out to her about his relationship problems. She probably never had even had a relationship. She was so young…

"I didn't mean to pry..." she said quietly.

"No, no. It's okay. It ain't like my relationship with her's a secret or anything."

River nodded and took a sip of her coffee.

"It's just…I know she ain't property, but I don't much like the fact that she's off all the time with other men…" there he went again. He was dumping all of his problems onto her. She had enough of her own. She was just so easy to talk to.

"It's understandable. Not a matter of property, ownership. It's loyalty."

"So you don't think that I'm bein' a jealous hundan?"

"No."

"Really?"

"Yes."

Somehow he felt better.

"Thanks, little albatross."

She smiled. "No problem."

"You're pretty smart."

"That's what they keep telling me."

It was his turn to laugh. They talked well into the morning about things in general. Their outlooks on the 'verse, Serenity, life and death, the war, what goes best with coffee, what exactly a "Vector" was, Simon and Kaylee, Badger, and so much more.

It was strangely comforting to have someone to talk to. He wasn't on her level mentally and she sometimes slipped into metaphors, but somehow through it all they actually understood each other. They enjoyed one another's company.

"I can't believe we were up all night," Mal yawned.

"At least the pilot _and_ the captain will be sleep deprived together."

"Zoe might have to take over."

"But then Simon will have no one to sew up after the jobs start working out!"

"Ha-ha."

She smiled at him and then collected her mug and Simon's encyclopedia. She put the mug in the sink and moved towards the passenger dorms.

"I'll see you later, Captain."

"Okay. Bye, darlin'."

She smiled again and then disappeared down the corridor. He sighed and put his mug up next to hers before going to take a shower and hopefully get a little bit of sleep.

********

Every night without fail, River would be at the table doing something. One night she was reading, another she was drawing, and the one after that she was tinkering with a gizmo of some kind. When he asked her was it was for, she explained it quickly and with big words. He didn't ask again.

He wasn't always up at night with her. He was sometimes with Inara in his bunk or in her shuttle. If he was in her shuttle, they'd sleep in together. However if she was in his bunk, she'd leave before everyone woke up. She always ran into River though.

"She's always up," Inara had said one night while draped across Mal's bare chest.

"I know. She had trouble sleepin' since she's all alone down in the passenger dorms."

She lifted her head up and stared at him. "How do you know?"

"We talk."

"You talk?"

"Yeah. Why is that so hard to believe?"

"I don't know. Since when did you two become friends?"

"Well…we just did. Why does it bother you that she's up?"

"For one thing, she needs her sleep. Another, I don't like her knowing our business."

"She would anyhow! She's a reader, remember?"

"Still…knowing and seeing are two different things. For example, you might know that Simon and Kaylee are having sex but if you see it-"

"Okay, okay. I get your point. I don't need the visual…"

Inara laughed and went back to lying across him.

He spent his nights either with Inara or sitting at the table with River. He got some sleep, but he found that he didn't need as much. He felt energized and refreshed when he expected the opposite to be true. This routine worked out for a few weeks off and on. Until one night…

********

Inara was away for her yearly physical. They were parked on some planet for a day or two to take some vacation. Mal was up, as usual, when he should have been sleeping. Some nights he actually forced himself to stay awake so he could go talk to River.

Their conversations were addicting. He had never talked to someone so deeply before. She made him think. He liked that. She challenged him a lot more than most people did. They were different challenges than Inara. Her challenges were always more of fights than anything else. River was different. He had always known that, but he never knew how true that was.

She made him consider things he had never considered before. Like the deeper meaning behind the classic astronomy myths, she knew them all by heart, or the real reason for unification. Her intelligence never ended. She knew something about everything. Honestly, she was a joy to talk to.

He exited his bunk after at least attempting sleep. He walked happily into the kitchen expecting to see her sitting there with some project in her flannel night clothes with a cup of coffee. However, the room was empty. She wasn't there. He thought that maybe he had arrived too early, so he made some coffee and took a seat. But she didn't show up.

Night after night, she wasn't there. He would have looked for her, but he didn't want to look like an idiot. He never asked her where she was in the morning either. He was too afraid to. The fear made no sense to him. He wanted to flat out ask. He didn't.

"Have you seen River up lately?" Mal asked Inara one night while snuggling in his bunk.

"No. I'm glad that she's finally getting sleep."

"Yeah…"

For two weeks he didn't see her at night. A million different reasons why ran through his head. She needed to sleep. Simon put her on some new medicine that made her sleep. The one he decided was the most likely was that she just didn't like talking to him or he had made her mad. The real reason was shocking…

********

Mal was in the kitchen at the table with some paperwork. It was late. He had his coffee in one hand and a pen in the other. The sound of a hatch opening made him look out at the corridor. He figured that it would be Zoe. Jayne always slept the night all the way through and Kaylee was probably with Simon…

He saw someone emerging from Jayne's bunk. As the person came into view he saw that it was _River_.

She was wearing one of Jayne's shirts. It went down to below her knees but still clung to her. Mal moved out so he could see her but she couldn't see him. She started to gracefully move towards the kitchen, but Jayne emerged after her. He was shirtless and only in his boxers. He caught her hand and pulled her around with a twisted grin on his face.

"I should go…" she whispered. Mal strained to hear the conversation.

"Na…" Jayne said with a lustful edge.

He wrapped his arms around her waist and let them wander to various places around her back and bottom. Mal wanted to go slug him, but he wasn't sure why.

River pushed him up against the bulkhead roughly with a _thud_.

"Shhh…" he murmured.

"You started it."

She kissed him on the mouth very hard. Mal knew because Jayne's head hit the metal with another thud. He kissed back, pulling her closer to his body. She ran her hands down his chest before following the same path her hands took only with her tongue.

"Gorramit, you can't go now."

"Why?" she muttered in the darkness of the hall.

"Girl, you know why."

He kissed her neck and lifted her up into his arms. She put her hands on his shoulders and wrapped her legs around his waist. They stumbled over to the hatch and clambered down the ladder. The hatch shut with a loud _clang_ after Mal heard a moan from one or both of them.

He wasn't sure which bothered him more. The fact that he was bothered by them being together or the fact that he was bothered that she was kissing him like that. He wanted to bang on Jayne's hatch and interrupt what they were doing. He also wanted to shoot, maim, or punch Jayne (maybe all three) for being with River.

_I'm just protective is all_, he assured himself as he went down into his bunk. _She's too young to be doin' that, 'specially with the likes of Jayne. _

He climbed into bed and shut his eyes. Every time he got close to sleeping, the image of Jayne and River popped into his mind and he was wide awake all over again.


	2. Chapter 2

He knew that no one else could have known about them. If Simon knew, Jayne would probably be dead. Mal didn't want to be the one to blab about…whatever they were doing. That's when it hit him. They might be an item. Jayne never let anyone kiss him on the mouth before. What if they were…together…?

He was only worried with his crew. He didn't want River to get hurt, or Jayne on the off chance that he was actually human. There was a reason for the shipboard romance rule. He stopped right there. Simon and Kaylee were together and he was with Inara. His rule was shot to hell. Jayne and River were the only two left. Jayne had needs. Maybe he had run out of whores to sleep with. River was a beautiful girl. Mal had no doubt in his mind about that. Still, that didn't justify having sex with a seventeen year old girl when he's over twice her age.

He couldn't tell everyone, but he could tell his girlfriend. That was confidential. She wouldn't tell. He could get her advice. After all, she was friends with River and sex was her area of expertise. It was settled. He'd talk to her about it.

Morning came and Mal got ready for the day. He joined everyone at the table for breakfast. It was strange. Now that he knew that River and Jayne were…whatever they were, he noticed more things. Like the way they interacted or occasionally looked at each other.

There was something in their eyes. Want. Lust. No, _hunger_. It made Mal sick to think about what they were doing in Jayne's bunk. At least he knew why she hadn't been up at the table every night. She was up in _Jayne's bunk_, _with Jayne_.

He saw the way Jayne watched her when she got up from the table. He got this smile on his face. Mal wanted to wipe that smug grin away for good.

"I'll be piloting," River announced as she floated out of the room. Her hand brushed across Jayne for just a moment on her way out. To anyone else, it would have appeared accidental. But Mal knew better.

"What's the plan for today?" Jayne asked.

"We'll land tonight. Until then make sure the cargo is secure," Mal said while secretly thinking, _I shove you out the airlock. _

"Okay. I'll be 'round."

He got up from the table and went towards his bunk. Mal figured that he'd be going to see River. He was tempted to follow him, but he decided to talk to Inara instead.

"Can I talk to you?" he asked as he pulled her aside from the table.

"Of course."

"Somewhere…else?"

Inara didn't like his tone. She nodded and followed him to the cargo bay where they stood on the catwalk like had done many times in the past.

"I need your advice on somethin'…"

"What is it?"

"I saw somethin' last night. I don't rightly know what to do 'bout it."

"Mal, you're scaring me."

"I saw River…with Jayne…they were…" he tried to convey what they were doing without actually saying it.

"They were…?"

"You know…"

"No, I don't…"

"Kissin' and all over each other."

"River…and _Jayne_?"

"That was my reaction."

"How serious?"

"They were kissin' on the mouth real hard and they went in his bunk. He was barely dressed, same with her."

"Wo de ma."

"I know."

"Do you know if they're together?"

"No. Don't say anything to anyone. Simon will kill him." _If I don't first._

"Just let it be. They'll let everyone know when they're ready to."

"But…"

"But…?"

"This is River. _River_."

"And?"

"I don't want her gettin' hurt. This is a recipe for unpleasantness."

"Mal, let it be."

He sighed. "Okay, but when she gets her heart broke-"

"Let her make her own choices. She's her own person. But it's sweet that you care."

"I know she's her own person. Her and Jayne, it just don't sit right with me."

"You have no say. It's her life. _Let it be_."

He grunted. She was right. He knew that she was. She smiled at him and lightly kissed him.

"Don't do anything rash," she added after gently squeezing his arm. She walked away and entered her shuttle to leave for her appointment.

He watched her go with a steady annoyance bubbling under the surface. Inara was off to sleep with some other guy while River and Jayne were secretly sleeping together and there was _nothing_ he could do about any of it.

One week. One _painfully agonizing_ week went by. Mal sat there every gorram day knowing that the mercenary was banging the pilot. Every night he shuddered to think what they were doing at that very moment. He wanted to tell. Oh he _longed _to tell. Maybe Simon would knock some sense into Jayne and he'd think twice about sexing River.

Sure Simon was a little guy, but damn he had a good right hook. He was doctor too, so he'd know exactly where to hit Jayne. That would be a fight Mal would pay to see. He'd love to watch that unfold.

All he could do was wait. He hated waiting. Always did. Even in the war he'd sit there impatiently. Zoe kept him from going completely crazy. In this case, Inara was the one keeping him in line. One day he was going to tell everyone. He wanted to. He caught Jayne looking at River, more like leering, and he just about lost it. Before he said anything, Inara grabbed his arm and pulled him aside.

"_Let it be, Mal._"

He pulled away with a few unpleasant words in Chinese and then apologized. Luckily for him, Jayne and River decided that being secretive was overrated.

********

"This place is a dump," Jayne growled as the mule pulled up to the crappy bar.

"Perfect place to meet…" Mal began as he scanned the area. "If'n you're rich and wanna keep somethin' under wraps like our contact."

"I still don't like this, Sir."

"I know, Zoe. I don't neither, but this will help our reputation."

"Don't forget 'bout the money neither!" Jayne grinned cheerfully.

Zoe rolled her eyes and climbed out of the mule followed by Mal. They had already gotten halfway to the bar by the time Jayne followed. He was busy hiding a few extra guns. It was his, _"Always be prepared, 'cause ya never know when yer gonna haveta shoot everyone" _policy. Six guns was a bit of overkill…well, it would have been for anyone that wasn't Jayne Cobb.

The rusty bar doors swung open with a rebellious screech. The stench of alcohol, sweat, and tobacco smoke hit them like an invisible wall. The lack of open windows and the over abundance of rickety ceiling fans made it all sorts of fragrant in the tiny place. It was buzzing with customers drinking, playing cards, or just sitting around smoking. Clanking glasses and drunken laughter filled the stinky air.

"Our man ain't here yet," Mal stated as he looked at all of the faces around them.

"We'll just wait then," Jayne shrugged as he lumbered over to a table in the back corner. "Hey, whiskey!" he shouted while motioning to the table.

Mal and Zoe exchanged looks and moved over to sit with him.

"I should check around to make sure we haven't missed him," Zoe sighed as she got up from the table.

"I agree," Mal nodded.

She also gave him a little nod and then started walking around. Jayne reclined in his seat with a grin and the glass of whiskey in his hand. He looked over at something behind Mal. He motioned to whatever it was. Mal cast a quick glance over at the object he was pointing at.

Whores. Jayne was pointing to the whores that just walked in. Mal felt rage rising to a dangerous boiling point. He was with River! He shouldn't be looking at them.

"Speakin' of sexin', I bet Inara's somethin' else."

Mal's eyes locked with Jayne's. He hoped that they were clearly conveying how furious he was.

"None of your business."

"Are you two hittin' the bed every night?" Jayne pressed.

"_None of your business_."

"I'll take that as a no. Too bad. 'Cause I'm gettin' me some every night."

"Oh really?" Mal was relieved that they weren't keeping it a secret anymore.

"Sure am."

"Who's the woman?" he knew. He just wanted to see what Jayne was going to say.

"Now you can't tell Simon yet. She's gonna do that. But it's River."

"River? Really? So are you two in a relationship?"

Jayne snorted. "Hell no. We're just havin' sex. That's all we want."

"We?" the rage was rising again…

"Yeah. We agreed. Just sex. No strings attached."

"Oh..."

Mal thought that the conversation was over. Oh no. It wasn't. He wished that it would have been.

"Let me tell you somethin', that girl is somethin' else! Some of the best gorram sex I ever had! 'Cause she's like a…witch…and she gets all in my thoughts and knows exactly what to do. She turned me 'round on my no kissin' on the mouth thing. I wasn't gonna kiss her there, but she kissed me anyhow. She's the best kisser in the whole ruttin' 'verse! She's got them big, soft lips. Ya know the one's I'm talkin' 'bout?"

"I-"

"Anyhow, she started kissin' me with 'em and I said, '_To hell with that!'_ and I just started kissin' her like crazy. She does this thing. She bites my lip and it's so gorram sexy! She's so gorram sexy! Let me jus' say, if you think she's somethin' dressed…" he let out a low whistle.

Mal remembered the first time he saw her. She was naked. It was a sight he had forgotten until Jayne mentioned it.

"Look at my gorram lip! It's all swollen 'n bruised from her!" he laughed.

"Yeah that's…somethin' else…" Mal managed through clenched teeth.

"Ha! You should see what else the girl's done to me! More like what I've done to her if you get my drift," he laughed again.

Mal forced a smile before drinking everything that was in his glass and motioning to the bartender to bring him another.

********

While Zoe, Mal, and Jayne were out on a job, the girls decided to go relax some. Kaylee, Inara, and River went into the next town over for some relaxing time in the sun.

They all sat down on some chairs by the water with glasses of lemonade in their hands. It was a beautiful day. Sure the planet was small and it had its slums, but it also had its lovely side. The breeze was perfect. The sun was warm. Life was good.

"So how's it going with Simon?" Inara asked Kaylee.

"It's goin' great! He's so sweet and kind and gentle…"

River rolled her eyes with a disgusted face. Inara and Kaylee laughed.

"Sounds like you really like him," Inara smiled.

"Yeah. We's havin' a shiny time together."

"In _your_ bunk," River smirked. Kaylee turned red and Inara howled with laughter.

"What 'bout you 'Nara? How's everything with the cap'in?"

"Good."

"Are you two…?" Kaylee asked with a suggestive look in her eyes.

"Having sex?"

"Yeah."

"Well you know…"

Kaylee giggled. She had never seen Inara blush about anything before, let alone sex.

"How is it?"

"KAYLEE!"

Kaylee and River burst into fits of uncontrollable laughter.

"Well?" Kaylee asked after she finally got herself under control.

"It's not hard to judge this activity," River added.

Kaylee turned to River. "And how would _you_ know?"

"I'm sexually active, thank you very much."

Kaylee's mouth dropped. "WHAT?"

"I am."

"Since when? With who?"

Inara remained silent. She already knew.

"Jayne."

Kaylee's mouth dropped further. "WHAT? You and Jayne? When? How?"

"Every night for three weeks or so now."

"Every night?" Kaylee and Inara asked in unison.

"Yes. So?"

"That's…often…" Inara explained.

"What can I say? We have energy."

"Why Jayne?" Inara asked.

"It just happened."

"Is it…good?" Kaylee asked timidly.

"Very. He's very good with his hands. He's a good kisser."

"I thought that he didn't kiss on the mouth," Kaylee frowned.

"Who said anything about the mouth?"

Inara and Kaylee laughed while simultaneously blushing.

"I turned him around on that policy anyway," River added with a smirk.

"Are you dating him, or is it just sex?" Inara inquired.

"Oh no. We are _not_ an item. It's just sex."

"And lots of it…" Kaylee commented. They laughed.

"Don't tell Simon. I will when the time is right."

"Sure thing, honey. He's gonna try to kill Jayne when he finds out…" Kaylee sighed.

"I know."

"How exactly did this 'just happen'?" Inara asked.

"Well…"


	3. Chapter 3

_Three weeks ago…_

River was sitting at the table writing down an equation that could help her sort out a few of the problems she had been having with one of the consuls on the bridge. She liked to stay up late. Sleep brought nightmares. Nightmares she was done with. She didn't want to think about or even consider that time in her life anymore. The Academy was just a nightmare. It was distant dream separated from her new life, her waking life. (_This little bit of her night was left out, for obvious reasons, when she retold how it all happened.) _She smiled recalling a certain conversation she had with the captain way back when.

**"Am I dreaming?" he asked into the comm. unit.**

**"We all are," she responded simply. He rolled his eyes. "Don't make faces."**

Her smile widened as she thought back to that night. He trusted her. She'd never forget standing on Serenity with him and the stars. He smiled at her and put his arm around her. She shook her head to push those memories to the back of her mind.

She was very aware of her feelings for the captain. Ever since the day she arrived in the cargo bay she had an attachment to him. His voice woke her up before she crawled out of that box. He was the first face she saw right before Simon ran to her side. He was always there in the background of her life, but he didn't know how much that meant to her.

Sometimes when he'd talk to her or just smile at her she'd get butterflies. Everyone knew how attractive he was. It was obvious. Those deep blue eyes, that charming grin, his perfect hair, his smooth voice, his amazing body…

It started out as just a respect for him, but when he helped them hide from the Alliance after finding that ship attacked by Reavers…she couldn't even begin to describe how that made her feel. He protected her. He _saved_ her from going back. Then he came for her and Simon after they were kidnapped even though no one else wanted to. He _saved_ her life. That's when she first got developed a crush on him. But then as time went by and after everything that happened with Miranda, it grew into something more. She dared not say for fear of being broken all over again.

She knew that she couldn't be with him. There was the age gap and there was Inara Serra. That's where he was that night. In her shuttle with _her_. River loved Inara. She was like a sister, but it killed her that she was with him. He wouldn't show up. She'd be left alone again and it broke her heart that she was so in…felt so strongly…about him and he didn't feel the same. No he felt that for Inara. Why did she even bother? Why did she hurt herself like that?

(_This is where she picked the story back up.)_

She was on her second page of math formulas when she heard a hatch open and close. She looked up, not sure who to expect.

Jayne wandered in with sleepy eyes, stretching and yawning. He saw River and jumped like Mal had…only he pulled a gun on her.

"Jayne, it's just me!"

"Wha…? Moonbrain? What in ruttin' hell are you doin' up?"

"Working. What are you doing up?"

"Had too much gorram coffee. I'm wired."

He pulled out a chair and plopped down without even asking. He set his gun on the table and yawned again.

"Do you always carry a gun?" she asked while eyeing the piece.

"Yeah. I always say, '_Always be prepared, 'cause ya never know when yer gonna haveta shoot everyone.'_"

"That's…poetic…"

"Damn straight."

He reached across the table and grabbed her mug to see what was in it and how much was left.

"Coffee? Don't ya ever sleep?"

"Not really."

"I could never do that. I need my beauty sleep or I get all cranky 'n loose my edge."

"_Beauty_ sleep?" she laughed.

"Hey, I'm good lookin'! Got keep my looks up with that sleep!"

She laughed. "Sure…"

"You know I am. I'm sexy."

She laughed harder.

"That weren't s'pposed to be funny."

"That's why it is."

He glared at her and then smirked. She looked pretty damn pretty when she laughed. River being River, she heard his thought and was a little surprised by it.

"Pretty damn pretty?"

"Well I…stop playin' in my gorram mind!" he stuttered while an impressive blush covered his face.

"Someone has a crush…"

"I do not!" he exploded. She laughed again.

"Whatever you say…" she smiled at him and went back to writing.

_She looks so ruttin' hot when she's bein' all genius._

She put her pencil down and looked at him carefully. He felt flustered under her gaze. He wasn't half bad looking. Sexy in a dangerous way. But he was crass, and slow, and tried to sell her and Simon to the Feds, and older, and looking back at her with those light blue eyes.

_What I'd give for just a night…_

She heard that too. He was so loud! Other people's thoughts (aka Mal, but she didn't give them that bit of information) were so quiet and beautifully articulate. Usually Jayne's were but he was so loud on that night. Jayne was there. He wanted her. He didn't care about the age difference. They were two different people from different worlds. They'd never work…but who said anything about relationships? He didn't want one. She didn't want one. (Because she was in love with Mal, but again she left that bit out) She was lonely, he was there. (And she was heartbroken. She figured that she'd forget about Mal if she moved on with Jayne. Again, this was cut out for the abridged version)

_I doubt she'd go for me. Not that I'm lookin' for anythin' serious. Just some sexin' that's all. She's too proper for that. _

"Proper?" she giggled. "Never thought of myself as 'proper.' Well mannered maybe, but proper…"

He swallowed hard. She got a look in her eyes that drove him crazy. He had to look away from her unwavering big, sexy, lustful, brown eyes. She got up and walked around to his side of the table. She sat on the edge of it beside him and looked at him.

"Ask."

"What?" he asked as he eyed her, mentally undressing her.

"You want something, you go for it."

"I like that idea."

He didn't have to be asked again. His lips were on her neck in an instant and his arms were around her. She was left breathless by the sudden attack. She guided his head with her hands down her neck and collarbone and then back up her neck again.

She fell back onto the table after his hands wandered onto her breasts. He was on top of her in the middle of the kitchen where anyone could see. She stopped him, which was not an easy task especially sense she felt his excitement pressed up against her.

"Not here. Everyone could see."

"Good thinkin'."

They walked as quickly as they could go without alerting anyone to their movements. They went down into his bunk. The hatch was barely closed and he was on her again. His hands were groping her and his mouth went everywhere except hers. He stopped suddenly.

"Gorramit, when Simon finds out-"

"Then he won't. No one will."

"This is just sex, right?"

"Right."

"Nothin' more?"

"Right."

"I ain't your first…am I?"

"No you aren't. Now shut up."

She knew his policy about kissing on the mouth. She didn't care. She'd change that. She pulled him in and planted a kiss on his lips with force. At first he was going to pull away, but then he got into it. He forgot how good lips felt against lips. She stuck her tongue down his throat and then pulled away after very softly biting on his lower lip. Jayne thought that that was the sexiest thing in all the 'verse.

He wrapped his arm around her waist while his other hand rested on the nape of her neck. He pulled her in for another kiss. It was just as good as the first one. He loved her lips. They were soft, tasty, and warm against his.

She felt his member pressing up against her. She let her hand snake down his chest to his pants where she got his gun belt undone. He helped her get it off and they shucked it onto the floor.

"When I ain't carryin' a pistol, I've got this piece."

She rolled her eyes at the remark and kissed him again in an attempt to shut him up. It worked. He pulled his shirt off and tossed it carelessly aside. She started kissing his chest. It was like she knew exactly where to put her mouth. She did. There were benefits to the reader scenario.

She barely ran her hand over the front of his pants. He let out a little moan and decided that it was about time that they finished the undressing. He practically ripped her clothes off and marveled at the sight before him. Sure he had seen her climb out of the cryo-box like everyone else, but damn he had forgotten how hot she was.

He kissed her everywhere, taking extra time on the places that made women crumble. Her breathing quickened and she went for his pants. They were off along with all of the other clothes and they were tumbling onto his bed.

She explored his rough and scar covered body with her soft hands, making sure to keep track of the places that made him groan for later use. Her tongue trailed her hands flicking tortuously over his flesh driving him into madness.

Finally her hand found his "piece" as he so elegantly called it. He moaned loudly, arching just slightly under the girl's skillful touch. He couldn't take it. She was going so slowly with gradual force. He was clay in her hands. She could have done whatever she wanted to him. He didn't like the feeling of complete submissiveness.

He rolled them over so he was on top. He was determined to turn the tables. It was in no way romantic. It was lust. Pure animalistic behavior driving them both mad. It was savage.

He licked, kissed, and nibbled his way across all of her body. He left a few hickeys by accident. She shivered under his touch as he continued his exploration, occasionally taunting her with his tongue but never staying for too long. She let her hand wander down his back and slide under him, un-expectantly grabbing him again. He wanted her. Bad.

He moved up her body. The friction of their flesh caused them both to go further insane. He devoured her lips with his own, hungry for them once again. At a treacherous pace, he entered her and they both moaned collectively. They started slow, but gained speed and intensity as it went on.

She knew that he was close to going over the edge. She reached out and caressed a spot on his side that drove him crazy. She kept it up until he finally unraveled with a groan causing her to shatter beneath him.

He fell beside her, panting and sweaty. They stayed there in silence for a bit, both trying to regain control. That's when it hit him.

"Gorram, we didn't-"

"Don't worry," she sighed. "I'm on the pill."

He got a grin on his face. "In that case…"

Once again he kissed her hard, now addicted to her lips, and she kissed back hard biting his lip. He didn't know why, but that turned him on more than anything else. She climbed on top of him and kissed his neck in just the right way. She felt him again and they were back at it. He guided her hips with his hands until they both gave into their madness once again.

Every night after that she'd slide down into his bunk and they'd give in time after time. It was like an addiction. There were no feelings, just the raw attraction. They were both okay with that, so who's to judge? Simon of course. (And Mal, unbeknownst to River)


	4. Chapter 4

_Back to the present…_

"I'm tellin' you. That girl is a witch! She drives me crazy…" Jayne laughed.

"I get the point!" Mal finally yelled. He was sick of hearing about their sex life. He was angry enough and the play by play of what she did to him wasn't a pretty visual.

"You're jus' testy 'cause 'Nara won't give you anythin'."

"She does! It's none of your business what we do and it ain't my business what you do either so stop sharin'!"

Jayne grew silent and took another sip of his whiskey. Zoe appeared and sat down beside Mal.

"No sign of him," she said quietly.

"Are you thinkin' what I am?" Mal asked.

"I believe so, Sir."

"Trap."

"Trap," she agreed.

"Trap?" Jayne asked.

"He's twenty minutes late. This place is in the middle of nowhere. Closed windows, small place, loud door. We can't get outta here without someone knowin' that we're leavin'," Mal explained their reasoning.

"Why would he wanna trap us?" Jayne asked.

"I don't know. To hand us to the Feds or maybe just to kill us."

"Wouldn't we be dead already?" Jayne asked.

"Not necessarily. He's just waitin' for the right moment…" Mal looked around trying to find someone that stood out. He saw a familiar face. "I think it was a set up…" he announced.

"Sir?"

"At the bar. Blonde hair, blue jacket."

She looked. "Ain't that one of Marco's men?"

"I think so. Marco got the rich guy to offer us a deal and set up a meet. Rich guy gets paid, we get dead."

Marco was a man they went into business with to steal some cargo once, only he got pinched and they got away. He wasn't happy about it and made it abundantly clear that they'd cross paths again.

"Do we have a plan?" Zoe asked.

Mal kept searching. He picked out at least four more of Marco's guys. "There's five of 'em I think. Did you see any other way out of here?"

"There's the bathrooms," Zoe suggested. "They've got windows that open."

"We go one at a time. Slowly, like nothin' is wrong. Zoe, go first. We'll follow. Jayne go next. I've got rear guard. Let's go…"

Zoe causally got up and walked through the room to a narrow hallway. Jayne waited a bit before following. Mal stayed back.

He waited and then followed. He saw the blonde at the counter raise his hand a few of the other men got up. They were discovered. Mal decided that being discreet wouldn't do anything except get him killed, so he bolted and their bullets followed him.

"GO GO GO GO!" he shouted as he reached the bathroom. They climbed out of the window with gunfire trailing them.

Jayne shot back as they ran for the mule. His leg was grazed, however it wasn't serious. Mal and Zoe retaliated as well. They were almost at the mule when Mal took a bullet in the shoulder. He shot the hundan that shot him before applying pressure to the wound.

They piled into the mule and made their escape back to Serenity. They were relying on the money from that job, so they'd have to find another job and fast. First things first though. Mal needed to get patched up. He wasn't happy with the amount of blood pouring out.

Inara, River, and Kaylee had just gotten back to the ship when they saw the mule come speeding towards the cargo bay. They moved aside so it would enter without taking them out with it.

"Gorramit! We needed that job!" Jayne hissed.

"We'll find another," Mal said calmly. He moved to get out of the mule, but a sharp hot pain surged through his shoulder. He clutched it tighter.

"What happened?" Inara asked as she ran to his side. River watched her tenderly help him get out. She ignored the jealousy and went over to check on Jayne.

"It was a trap. Marco set it up," Zoe explained as she gracefully slid down onto the cargo bay floor.

"Marco?" Inara asked.

"The guy we's left 'n got pinched, Marco?" Kaylee asked. Mal nodded. He looked a mite pale. "I'll get Simon," Kaylee hurried off to find him.

"Are you the only one that was injured?" Inara asked worriedly.

"Na, I got grazed on my leg…" Jayne grunted as he painfully stood. Maybe it wasn't such a harmless graze after all.

River steadied him and they started to slowly move towards the infirmary. Inara and Mal followed. Simon darted into the cargo bay to see how bad it was. He saw Jayne and River looking awfully cozy and overheard their conversation.

"How bad is it?" River asked.

"Aw not too bad. I've been worse. No worries. It won't mess with our plans," he leered.

"What's going on here?" Simon inquired. He wasn't the most astute man in the 'verse, but he could tell that something was up with the trained ape without the training and his mei mei.

"We're sleeping together," River stated nonchalantly as they continued walking.

"WHAT? YOU SON OF A WHORE!" Simon moved towards Jayne with a fist ready.

"I hate to interrupt, but Mal is _bleeding _over here!" Inara called.

"This conversation is not over, River." Simon's was deceptively calm.

Inara and Mal went into the infirmary with Jayne and River close behind. Mal climbed onto the table. Simon cut open his shirt to examine the wound.

"Hey! That's a new shirt!" Mal complained.

"Sorry, Captain. I have to. I need some space to work."

"I'm better off. I'll jus' wait out here," Jayne offered. River went to help him walk, but Simon's voice stopped her.

"River, I need to talk to you. Everyone else out."

Inara smiled reassuringly at Mal and gave him a quick kiss before leaving with Jayne. River stood on one side of Mal while Simon stood on the other, working on the wound.

"Explain," Simon said plainly.

"Why should I? This is my life," River shot back.

"Please. I think you owe me that much!"

"Jayne and I are sleeping together."

"I got that. So are you two exclusive or what?"

"I don't see how this is your business, but no. It's just sex."

"Just sex?"

"I don't need a lecture, Simon."

"River, sex is a special thing-"

"I know."

"He's over twice your age!"

"So?"

"You're only seventeen!"

"Eighteen. My birthday was last week."

"Still!"

"I don't care. He doesn't care."

"I know and that bothers me!"

"What are you going to do about it? I'm not going to stop because you tell me to. He's not going to stop because you tell him to. We're going to do this no matter what. And don't even think about hurting him."

"Do you have feelings for him?"

"No."

"How can you just have meaningless sex?"

"Because it's enjoyable."

"I can't believe I'm hearing this…" Simon muttered.

Mal found the entire conversation interesting until-

"I don't know what has you so worked up! It's not like he's my first or anything!"

Simon pulled a little too hard as he was stitching Mal up. He winced and was about to butt into the conversation, but he didn't have to.

"What?" Simon asked the same question that was on Mal's mind.

"You heard me."

"I can't believe this!"

"Do you remember Victor Luxembourg?"

"Bourgie? My best friend from upper school Bourgie?" she nodded. "What about him?"

She looked at Simon. His surgical instrument slipped and Mal yelped.

"Ouch!" Mal cried.

"You and _Bourgie_? He was the one that you…?"

"Yes."

"When?"

"Before I left."

"You mean the reason he showed up the night before you went away to the Academy wasn't because he left his school books?"

"No. He only said that because you caught him coming back."

"Back?"

"He was there that afternoon waiting for you to come home, but you had your Latin classes. One thing led to another…"

"I'm not hearing this!"

"You are."

"Son of a bitch! He was always talking about you, but I thought that it was just because you were friends…"

"Not quite."

"I can't believe this! Bourgie, and now _Jayne_?"

"Simon, I'm having a good time. Be happy for me."

With that, she walked over to the door and then turned around. "A really good time."

She left them both stunned. Simon finished sewing Mal up in silence. They were both shocked by all of the information that she just gave them. Their minds were having trouble processing it all.

"You're good to go," Simon said quietly.

"Thanks, Doc."

He got up and walked towards the door.

"Captain."

"Yes?"

"What should I do?"

"About?"

"River and Jayne."

The evil side of Mal was shouting, _Interfere! Kill Jayne!_ The decent side of him eventually won his inner struggle.

"Respect her decision. Don't have to be happy 'bout it. Just let it be. But if she gets hurt, I'm givin' you permission to deal with Jayne."

"Thank you."

"No problem."

Mal nodded and walked out of the infirmary. He'd have to follow his own advice too. But if he did hurt her, he wouldn't give Simon time to deal with him. He'd do it his-own-self. Something slow and painful, not like the airlock this time.

Inara walked over to him.

"How are you?" her voice was filled with concern.

"I'm okay. A little freaked out, but okay."

"What?"

"I got a little too much information," a strange burning in his chest appeared. He couldn't figure out what it was.

"I'm sorry to hear that. I have to go meet a client."

She kissed him sweetly and gently caressed his cheek.

"Feel better. I'll be back tonight."

"Okay. I'll try."

She smiled and walked away towards her shuttle. He ignored the usual pang of jealousy and anger that accompanied her departure. He shook his head, disappointed in himself for feeling that way.

It felt almost like insecurity. He didn't have to be. True her clients were rich and powerful, but there was a reason why they had to pay for her services. He was never one to feel insecure about anything. Unsure maybe, afraid yes, but he was always okay with who he was and if he wasn't good enough to hell with them. A leopard can't change its spots.

He decided to wander up to the kitchen to self-medicate with some of Kaylee's engine wine. When he got into the kitchen, he saw River taking care of Jayne's leg.

Jayne was leaning back on the couch with his leg up on the coffee table while River sat beside his leg. She examined it carefully. When she touched it he drew in a sharp breath.

"Gorramit girl! _Go easy!_"

"Do you want Simon to examine you?"

"Where'd the fun be in that?"

She touched his leg again. He pulled it away from her with a yelp.

"It's not serious. You'll be fine. The bleeding has already stopped. You just need something for the pain."

"Whiskey sounds good."

"I was thinking more along the lines of medication."

"I got my meds right here, moonbrain."

They were about to kiss when Mal decided to announce his presence.

"I was thinkin' that we should get outta here real soon seein' as Marco's gonna be comin' after us. Set a course for Beaumonde. Maybehaps Fanty and Mingo will have some work for us. Set down someplace nearby but hidden 'till Inara gets back."

Jayne scowled since their moment was interrupted. River nodded.

"Yes, Captain."

He grabbed a mug and pulled the jug of wine out from its place under the counter. River got up and went down to the bridge. They felt the ship take off right after that.

"Damnit Mal! You kinda interrupted somethin'…" Jayne snapped.

"Did I? Sorry. I didn't know that it was bad for the _captain_ to give orders to his crew."

"Don't get testy."

"I'm not!"

"Sure seem testy to me."

"Well I ain't!"

Jayne dropped it and went back to relaxing on the couch. Mal guzzled down all of the contents in his mug before going to his bunk to rest.

Going down the ladder was pretty rough with the injury, but he managed. He climbed into bed for some much needed sleep. He stayed awake for a bit, slightly confused as to why he was almost always alone. Some nights he was with Inara, but even then she usually left before morning. A sense of loneliness, confusion, and anger filled him.

He felt lonely. He was confused about _why_ he was lonely. He was also angry that he was confused and confused becausehe _was_ angry.

Finally exhausted from the day, blood loss, pain, and alcohol, he drifted into a light slumber.


	5. Chapter 5

Beaumonde was over a week away. They were on the ass-end of the galaxy on the corner of no and where. It was lucky that their injuries weren't too bad. If they were things could have gone bad really quickly.

The situation on the ship was tense, and that was putting it mildly. The whole "River/Jayne" thing put everyone on edge. Kaylee was worried about Simon. He was angry and pouting about his sister's sudden loss of innocence. She wasn't a helpless little girl anymore and that bothered him.

Inara was worried for River's sake. Jayne was hardly the best person to get involved with, even if it was just physical. He was a harsh self-centered man. There were worse people to hook up with, though. Everyone knew this. Still, it made them all a bit…uncomfortable, especially sense they were sometimes public with their lust.

********

Mal was on his way to the bridge to ask River about the progress towards Beaumonde. It was taking a mite too long. Their food store was dwindling to a dangerously low supply, Kaylee had a list as long as Mal's arm of engine parts they needed, and they didn't have the funds to fix either situation. He was surprised to find the bridge door shut. He knocked twice. It cracked open.

"How can we help ya, Mal?" Jayne asked. Only part of his face was visible.

"We? I need to ask River somethin'. Is she here?" his blood was boiling.

"Yes, Captain?" she asked. Only part of her face was visible as well.

"I wanted to ask 'bout our journey to Beaumonde. It seems to be takin' a bit too long."

"I had to plot an evasive course. The Alliance cruisers have increased their range on their patrols. Given the amount of fuel they each possess, engine capabilities, and range of the ships I calculated the distance they would each be able to cover. Then I added in the probability of how often the ships would actually patrol the certain areas and I reached the conclusion for our course. I can recalculate if you wish."

"Damn, I love it when you talk all smart. It's _**sexy**_," Jayne leered.

"No. That's okay…" Mal sighed. River nodded.

"Excuse us, Mal. Can you say that again?" Jayne asked as they shut the door.

Mal heard a thud that had to be them hitting the floor followed by, "_Wo de ma, girl!_"

He walked away fuming.

********

It was the middle of the day. They were about four days out. Mal was at the kitchen table cleaning his guns. River wandered in and got a mug out. She filled it with coffee and then walked over to the table.

"Time to clean your guns again?" she asked with a smirk. They used to argue about guns versus blades all of the time.

"Yeah, so?" he asked with a smile.

"I think you know how I feel about guns."

"Remind me."

"You have to load it, you have to line up the shot, and you have to keep cleaning them."

"You have to clean blades too."

"Only once in awhile or if they are bloody."

"Yeah, but you can't hit a man from eighteen-hundred yards with an axe."

"Only cowards kill from eighteen-hundred yards," she grinned mischievously.

"Whoa, are you callin' me a coward?"

"No."

"Why don't I believe you?"

Her grin widened. He broke out into one himself.

"We never talk anymore," he sighed sadly. It just slipped out. He didn't mean to say it, but he did.

"No we don't."

"I-" Mal was about to say, "I miss talkin' to you" when Jayne bounded in.

"Hey," he had that suggestive twinkle in his eyes. He kissed her on the mouth and then on the neck. His arms snaked around her waist. "Can I talk to you?" he asked.

"Talk?" she smirked.

"Yeah. We'll be movin' our mouths…"

"Jayne-"

He kissed her again. She responded by kissing him back, hard. He took her hand.

"See ya later, Mal."

She sighed, defeated, and they vanished down the hall. Mal sulked for a bit. He really did miss talking to her…a lot. That's when he realized something. He had never had a deep conversation with Inara. Not like the ones he had with River, anyway.

********

_That night…_

"We never talk," Mal said in the stillness of Inara's shuttle.

"What do you mean? We talk all the time," she replied as she ran her hand down his chest.

"No, I mean _really_ talk."

Inara propped herself up on her elbow and looked at him curiously, her almond eyes demanding further explanation.

"We never talk about serious stuff. Like the 'verse or life…"

She was clearly amused by what he was saying. "Since when do you contemplate?"

"I may be a simple man, but that don't mean that I'm simple _minded_."

"I never said that."

"You implied it."

"No I didn't!"

"Yeah, you did!"

She huffed and slightly rolled her eyes. He wasn't in the mood for a fight, so he relented.

"All I'm sayin' is that we never really talk."

"Okay. We'll 'really' talk. What do you want to talk about?"

"Well…" somehow it was easier with River. "I don't know…"

"We can talk in the morning."

She kissed him softly and nuzzled in between his side and his arm.

He sighed. At least he wasn't alone. Their conversation bothered him. Why couldn't he talk to her like he could talk to River? He pushed that thought out of his mind and focused on the beauty in his arms. Somehow as he watched her sleeping form, he knew that they wouldn't talk in the morning or the next day or probably even the next…

********

_Meanwhile…_

River was in his bunk again. She hadn't slept in her bunk for weeks, yet she still hadn't gotten used to Jayne's snoring. It reminded her of a chainsaw. She was cold. He was such a cover-hog. She had just the very corner of his dirty sheets. It barely covered her up.

For a moment she felt a twinge of sadness creep into her heart. Mal had tried to talk to her. She missed talking to him. She missed him in general. Always. His grin, his voice, the late night talks, the laughter. She stopped right there. He was with _her_. She was with Jayne. That was that.

She cuddled up to Jayne's side to get some warmth or at least some closeness. His huge arm instinctively curled around her and drew her closer to him. She had just gotten settled when his eyes flew open.

"Hey there moonbrain," he smirked. She knew that smirk.

She smiled back and kissed him with her usual lip bite. He kissed her back hard and they had toppled over for the third time that day. The "just sex" thing was working. But then, suddenly he wanted more…

********

They finally reached Beaumonde. Fanty and Mingo did have a proposition for them. Mal was glad to hear it. His boat was barely flying. Needless to say he didn't want to be late for their meet. He had to be on their good side and the faster they got the job, the faster they got it done, and the faster they got their money.

"Let's get movin'!" he announced as he pulled his coat on.

"Sure thing, Sir."

Zoe brushed past him to the cargo bay. Jayne walked up to him.

"Can you just take Zoe?"

"What? Why?" Mal asked.

"I got plans."

"Plans? No, you can't have plans! I pay you to work!"

"Can I have the night off just this once?"

"Why?"

"I'm takin' River out."

"Can't you wait and ain't your bunk good enough?"

"Damnit Mal! It's not sexin'! It's a date. A real one."

Mal did a double take. "Wha…wha…what?"

"Yeah. I'm takin' her out. Figure this is as good a place as any. It's got quite the night life 'n she's gettin' a bit stir-crazy."

"What happened to the 'just sex' thing?"

"Figure she's gonna want more eventually."

"But do you?"

"Maybehaps I do. I don't know. Gotta see. That's why I need the gorram night off!"

Mal thought about it for a moment. Oh he wanted to say no. He almost did. But the good side of him won again. "Fine. Have fun."

"Thanks."

Mal watched him walk away before he reluctantly went down to the cargo bay to meet up with Zoe.

They walked out together into the booming nightlife. It was a great place to experience at least once. Of course the last time River "experienced" the nightlife she took out everyone in the Maidenhead.

Mal still remembered that look in her eyes right before Simon made her sleep. He remembered watching her fall to the floor and then impulsively scooping her up. He still couldn't figure out why he brought her home, but he was glad that he did.

"Sir?"

"Hm?"

"You seem far away…"

"Just thinkin' on things is all."

She didn't buy it completely, but she knew when to stop pressing for information.

The rest of the way there, Mal couldn't stop wondering about how their date would go…

********

"Hey," Jayne said gruffly as he walked onto the bridge. She smiled at him. He loved her smile. It was so _**sexy**_. Hell, everything about her was sexy.

"What can I do for you?"

"Come with me."

"Where?"

"Out."

"Out?"

"I'm takin' you out on a real date."

"I though we agreed-"

"Just sex, I know. But I was thinkin' that maybe we could see where this can go."

She considered his offer for a moment and Mal popped into her head followed by Inara.

"Sure."

Jayne smiled. "Let's get goin' then. Mal let me take the night off."

"He did?"

"Yeah. I didn't think he was gonna."

"Why not?"

"He was real pissy about it is all. Let's go. I know this great place…"

She smiled and they left together.

It was weird being with Jayne when it wasn't work related or sexual. It was…refreshing. His attention was only on her. He thought that she looked great in the bright city lights. Having someone feeling that way about her made her heart race. It was a new experience.

They wandered through the busy and crowded streets together stopping to look at the various goods for sale, including all kinds of exotic pets. Between the vendors, commuters, nightclubs, and flying ships and cars overhead, the city was louder than most places they went. River didn't mind. She liked it. It made her feel alive, that, and the sharp blue eyes of the mercenary that kept staring at her. She felt hot under his gaze, but she liked it.

The little bar Jayne took her to wasn't half bad. It was better than the Maidenhead. They sat at the bar and ordered drinks. River wasn't one for drinking, but she was okay with a little wine. As they sat together, they talked. They really talked. He wasn't Mal, but he was alright. He certainly had an interesting take on things. He wasn't articulate, but what he said had a certain streamlined beauty to it. She could get used to that…

As they walked back to the ship, she realized something. He would never be Mal, but Mal would never care. Jayne was there. He found her attractive, sexy, smart, and based on his thoughts good company. Maybe she could move on. Maybe she could learn to love him. He wasn't all bad. Sure he had his gray areas, so did she. Sure he was a killer, so was she. They were both weapons. They were both somewhat misunderstood. Maybe they could work. Certainly not the typical couple in the 'verse. The older mercenary and the young assassin, together. That had a nice ring to it…sexy, dangerous, edgy…

When they walked in together, his arm was around her shoulders and they looked quite content. Mal watched them walk towards Jayne's bunk, talking. _Talking._ Nothing sex related. Just two people conversing. They used to talk like that. Apparently she had found someone else to talk to. He felt a sudden sense of rejection that pained him more than he expected it would have.


	6. Chapter 6

"No, you're _not _going!" Simon argued.

"You have no say in this!" River shot back.

"But mei mei-"

"Don't you 'but mei mei' me! This isn't up to you! I want to go! I think I can help!"

"But it's-"

"Dangerous, I know!"

"I don't-"

"I'm through having this conversation with you! It's up to you!" she turned to Mal.

Mal was seated at the table enjoying a cup of coffee when River and Simon entered having a shouting match. They had a lot of those since he found out Jayne was banging her, but they multiplied when they announced that they had taken the next step: a relationship. That was a week ago and the tension had just increased since then.

"Hm?" Mal asked as he set the mug down. He hadn't been paying attention. Along with most everyone on the boat, he had learned to block out their arguments.

"River wants to go with you on your job," Simon explained.

"Whoa, hold up there little albatross. This ain't the kind of job you should be goin' on."

"I know that I can help. I have a feeling on this one, Captain. You'll require my assistance."

"The only reason we're doin' this job for Fanty and Mingo is 'cause we have to. I don't want to do this my-own-self for fear of comin' back bleedin' out of everywhere. I think it's best that you stay here. It's risky enough as is for the three of us."

"Ah hell Mal!" Jayne growled as he entered the kitchen and strutted over to River's side. "She can handle herself!"

"I don't doubt that," Mal said calmly.

"If'n she wants to come, we should let her. 'Specially if she's got some witchcraft tellin' her this job is gonna go pear-shaped. She can help," Jayne defended.

River smiled in thanks. Jayne smiled back and put his arm around her to add effect to his little speech.

"I don't know…" Mal hated the idea of putting her in danger, but if she could keep things from getting too bloody…

"It's too dangerous!" Simon argued.

"The girl can take care of herself. 'Sides we'll be there! And it ain't your place to order her 'round!" Jayne shouted at Simon. Simon was about to shout back when Mal spoke up.

"No, it's my job. I'm the ruttin' captain of this boat and I'm gettin' tired of people tryin' to tell me what to do." He paused and looked directly at River. "You really think that you have to come?"

"I do."

"If you do, you'll listen to my orders?"

"I will."

He sighed. "She's comin' _but_ she has to listen to every order I give."

River beamed. "Thank you."

Mal smiled at her as a surge of warmth rushed through his body. "Don't mention it."

"Hey, I'll let you use one of my new guns!" Jayne suggested as they walked off.

"I prefer blades."

"Then you can use my knife."

"I'd like that."

Ever since they were together as couple, they rarely were separated. All they did was talk and talk and talk. When they weren't talking, they were kissing. When they weren't kissing, they were in his bunk doing what people do behind closed doors.

"Sir?"

"Huh?" Mal asked.

"You seemed distant. Thinkin' on things again?" Zoe asked as she joined him at the table.

"Yeah. The job."

"Right…_the job_." Zoe knew that wasn't the case, but again she knew when to stop pushing it. "It's a risky one."

"That it is. River's taggin' along. Says that she has to come along."

"That's never comforting."

"No. I got a bad feelin' on this one."

"We don't have much choice."

"No we don't. We're almost outta food and my boat is barely flyin'…"

"That's out last bit of coffee too, Sir."

"_Go se_!"

"Do you think this plan is gonna work?"

"Has to."

They had to steal money from one of Fanty and Mingo's rivals, Lihai Long. Apparently they crossed paths way back when and were still at war. Lihai wasn't someone to mess with. A few of Fanty and Mingo's other contacts had been killed because of their association.

This Lihai character was a big fan of dragons, so almost all of his attack methods had something to do with the creatures. He was known for "Dragon teeth." It was a gadget that fired a bunch of tiny sharp teeth-like projectiles at its target. His security included "Dragon's breath." When tripped, the alarm would sound followed by a sudden burst of flames from the sensors. Also among his dragon arsenal was the deadly invention, the Zhua meaning "the claw." People rarely survived his attacks and for obvious reasons. Stealing from him was basically suicide. It all came down to the fact that they needed money.

"His money is kept in the vault below the meditation room. It's on the southeast side of the building. We'll be goin' in through the skylight. We'll have to scale the wall and go about three-hundred yards. Fanty and Mingo's plant has left a ladder out for us. He knows we're comin' tonight, so he'll do his best to get to us if somethin' goes wrong. We'll use the ladder to get on top and drop into the room. There's no security on the roof. In the room there is. One of us will have to slip in and make it to the security box. They'll have only thirty seconds to get to the station and disarm it which is just cutting the wires. The rest of us will drop in, find the secret switch, go through the door, clean him out, get back out through the skylight, and run like hell back to the ship. Any questions?" Mal recapped the plan for River.

"How do we know that the room will be empty?" Zoe asked.

"He goes in there four times a day at the same time. He's a creature of habit according to their plant. No one else is allowed in. It's locked up tight and the three keys are spread out between two of his men and he keeps the other. It's guarded all of the time, so we'll have to be extra quiet…" Mal explained.

"Why are ya lookin' at me?" Jayne asked.

"Will we be able to get in and out without being heard or detected? How much time do we have?" River asked.

"Twenty minutes. If we're quiet, I think that we'll be fine."

"How's we gonna make it back out of the skylight with all of the dough?" Jayne inquired suddenly with a frown. He had a point.

"Bein' that you're the tallest, you'll help us out and then toss the money up. We'll help you out after that."

"I have to put my neck on the line?" he growled.

"Fine. I'll stay behind. Any more questions?"

No one answered. It was time to move. They hopped into the mule and drove out to Lihai's estate. You couldn't miss it. It was a large menacing building in the middle of nowhere. They made sure to slip by undetected to the side of the building they needed to get to. Utilizing the cover of darkness to get over the wall and towards the structure was the easy part. Finding the ladder in the dark was the hard part.

"Damnit!" Jayne hissed as he stubbed his toe on a statuette on the lawn. River shushed him and kept feeling around for it.

"Found it!" Zoe whispered. She propped it up against the concrete wall.

"Go," Mal muttered as he held it in place. Zoe went first followed by Jayne. Mal motioned to the ladder. "Ladies first." River nodded and went next. He was the last to get on the roof.

The skylight was easy to find. It stuck out like a sore thumb. Jayne pried it off roughly. Luckily River was there to catch it before it hit the roof and alerted anyone to their presence.

"Who's goin' down?" Mal asked.

"I am. It's the most logical choice," River sighed. Everyone agreed, although the thought of River being burned to a crisp made both Jayne and Mal shudder.

She looked down inside the room and then leapt down into it. She quickly did an acrobatic flip towards the security consul. She pulled Jayne's knife out of…somewhere. After using it to open the flap on the station, she quickly severed all of the wires with two seconds to spare. It was a good thing she came along. No one else would have been able to do that.

"Come on," she whispered while motioning them.

"That's my girl," Jayne grinned.

Zoe went first. She landed gracefully. Mal was next. He also landed semi-gracefully. Jayne followed with a quiet thud. Everyone froze. Hopefully the guards didn't hear.

"They didn't," River assured them.

"It is a good thing you came along," Mal sighed. River smiled. "The plant says it's one of the lamps…"

They started pulling on the various lamps. Jayne picked up one of the lamps and the floor opened. He shrugged and went down into the vault.

"This place is a ruttin' goldmine!" he announced happily.

"SH!" everyone growled.

Jayne and Mal filled the duffle bags with the money and gold. After they finished doing that, Mal helped Zoe climb back onto the roof where they started to pass them up to her.

"Oh no…" River muttered. She got that reader look in her eyes.

"What's wrong?" Mal asked.

"The plant, they found him. He talked. They know. Coming…lions and gazelles. Lurking, waiting. Coming for the kill. Hurry."

They quickly finished emptying the vault. It was around that time that they heard the locks opening. Jayne frantically helped River climb out and then followed. The doors flew open while Mal was attempting to climb out.

"STOP THEM!"

A large, sharp five pointed object went hurtling towards Mal. River grabbed his hand which Jayne grabbed the other. It struck him, but only in the leg.

They started to make a run for it, or a hobble in Mal's case. Jayne went down the ladder first and just caught them as they jumped off of the roof. Mal decided to go down the ladder instead. He wasn't as dainty as the ladies were.

They made it to the wall. Zoe easily made it over. Mal and Jayne tossed the bags over so she could start loading the mule up. They were halfway done when lights flickered on. They no longer had the darkness on their side and River had that look in her eyes again.

"They're coming…" was all she said before it happened.

River reached over to Mal and pulled his gun out of its holster. She pushed them both behind her and started shooting. The cartridge was empty, all of the enemies were dead with their bodies in piles on the ground, and River's arm dropped to her side. She looked down at her body and pressed her hand to one of the twenty or more puncture wounds. She saw the blood before looking back at Jayne and Mal. Then, she closed her eyes and started to fall towards the ground. Jayne caught her in his arms. All of this occurred within a minute.

"River?" Jayne asked hysterically. The fear in his voice was nothing compared to the fear he was feeling. Mal was feeling the same way.

"We have to go before more show up," Mal said a little shakily. He finished throwing the bags over while Jayne tried to stop some of the bleeding.

Mal grabbed his gun and then climbed the wall, but stopped at the top. He extended his arms. "Hand her to me."

Jayne clung to her. "Jayne, _hand her to me._"

Finally, the mercenary lifted her into Mal's waiting arms. Mal cradled her carefully and landed on the other side of the wall.

"What happened?" Zoe asked.

"Dragon teeth…" Mal explained as he assessed the damage. That's what it had to be. Tiny metallic points riddled her frail body and blood stained her alabaster skin and dark dress.

The second Jayne was over the wall, he took her back into his arms and they drove off under fire. The entire way back, Jayne kept trying to rouse something, anything, from River but nothing came. She didn't move. He barely felt her breathing and her pulse was dangerously weak. Mal looked back at her and felt unbelievable pain. _She can't die, she can't die._ Mal kept thinking. He realized that she very well _could_ and there was good chance that she might.


	7. Chapter 7

They rushed into the cargo bay where Simon was waiting. Kaylee was with him to keep him in check. He was surprisingly calm.

"Take her to the infirmary," Simon ordered. Mal could tell that he was in complete doctor mode. He was detached from the situation and that was a good thing.

Jayne set her down on the table. Simon pushed him out of the way and started gathering his things.

"What happened?" he asked as he put on his apron.

"Dragon teeth. It's a weapon that fires a bunch of sharp projectiles at the target," Mal explained, luckily avoiding letting the emotion to crackle in his voice.

"They'll all have to be removed. She lost a lot of blood…might have punctured something internally as well. I'll have to do a scan. Everyone out."

He started to cut away her dress. Jayne didn't budge from his place at her side.

"I said _everyone out._"

"I ain't movin'!" he shouted. Everyone winced at the edge in his voice.

"Fine. I don't have time to argue. Everyone else, out!"

They left them alone and the door shut behind them. They all sat on the couch just outside of the infirmary in their own thoughts. Kaylee was crying, Mal was close to it, and Zoe was stoic like she always was.

"What happened exactly, Sir?"

"She grabbed my gun and pushed us behind her. We didn't know what was happenin' 'till it was over. She killed them all…and then…" he stopped and swallowed the lump that was rising in his throat.

"What's going on?" Inara asked as she entered the room.

"River is hurt," Zoe explained since Kaylee and Mal didn't seem to be in the condition to answer.

"Is she going to be alright?" Inara asked worriedly.

"I don't know. It's bad," Zoe sighed.

There was a pause.

"I shouldn't of brought her along," Mal muttered angrily. He was so mad at himself. How could he? He knew it was dangerous, he knew it. But no. He brought her along anyway.

"If it wasn't for her, we wouldn't have pulled of the job-" Zoe was attempting to console him, but it didn't help. Instead it made him angrier.

"But at what price, Zoe?" he exploded as he stood up, kicking the coffee table. He made everyone jump. He ignored the sharp pain that shot through his injured leg.

"Mal-" Inara tried.

"No! No…" he snapped.

"We needed that job-" Zoe tried again and again it just made him angrier.

"That's s'pposed to make me feel better? She's in there bleedin' from every which way probably fightin' for her life when I could of prevented that! I let her come with us! I might as well of shot her my-own-self!"

"Sir, she probably saved your life and Jayne's."

"At the cost of her own! We ain't worth it!"

"Calm down!" Inara said coolly. Mal rounded on her with fire in his eyes.

"She's in there 'cause of me and I'm s'pposed to calm down? _It was for the job. She saved the job. We needed that job…_" he scoffed. "There will always be other jobs, but there will never be another River. Ever."

Zoe knew when to leave him alone. She put her arm around the sobbing Kaylee and they went up the steps to give him some space. He walked around a bit and then kicked the table again despite his wound. Inara cautiously approached him.

"Mal," she said evenly. He reluctantly turned around to look her in the eye. She never knew how to make him feel better in times like these, but she'd try. "You couldn't have known…"

"She might die," he croaked.

"I-"

"Just go."

The pain in his eyes made her heart break. She nodded and went to kiss him. He pulled away and sank onto the couch. She walked away to leave him to his thoughts.

What if she did die? He couldn't fathom that. He didn't want to even think about it. She'd pull through. She was a fighter, just like he was. He'd never known anyone as tough as River Tam. Sure Zoe was strong, but not like River. She was something else. She was…she…he couldn't even put what she meant to him in words. He had gotten used to her being there for over a year. She was always there in the background of his life. To think that she'd be gone tore a new hole in his heart.

_There will never be another River. Ever._ He didn't realize how true those words really were. He had never really taken the time to get to know her until after the Maidenhead. That's when he figured out that he didn't really know her at all.

Through everything, he started to understand why she was the way that she was. Carrying such a terrible secret was a burden that he couldn't imagine. Yet she pulled through. And when he walked out of that elevator and she wasn't there, he started to fear the worst. Everyone else did as well. Then those doors opened and there the crazy girl stood, panting, bloody, and surrounded by Reaver corpses. He knew then just how strong she was.

When they started talking at night, he wasn't entirely surprised by how brilliant she was. He was more surprised by the fact that he enjoyed talking to her. He wasn't aware how much until it stopped. On those nights they stayed up together, he got to know, understand, and appreciate her like never before. Maybe that's why he felt like he was the one that was hit with "Dragon teeth" instead of her.

He stayed there for the entire time Simon worked. Simon removed all twenty-two of the little projectiles. One of them nicked something and she was bleeding internally. He had to operate, close that wound, close all of the other wounds, and start her on different fluids and medicines to make sure that she didn't get an infection. She'd make it, but if only one of them had hit anything else she would have died. She almost did a few times, but Simon was able to save her. Jayne sat beside her, clutching her hand like it was a life jacket and he was out in the middle of the ocean.

Mal's neck snapped up when he heard the infirmary door open. He was standing within seconds and walking over to Simon.

"How is she?" he asked nervously, fearing the worst.

"Beat to hell, but stable. I had to perform surgery to stop some internal bleeding. She was touch and go for awhile. However, I think that she'll be fine."

Mal let out a breath he didn't know that he was holding in.

"That's great. Can I…" he stopped and peered into the room.

Jayne was still clutching River's hand. He pushed some of her hair out of her face before lightly kissing her on the cheek.

"Never mind," Mal mumbled as he sat back down on the couch.

"I should look at that," he said as he pointed to his leg.

"I'll be fine."

Simon nodded reluctantly and went to let everyone know how River was.

Mal had the urge to go sit with her, take care of her. It was his fault she was helplessly laying there. But no…_Jayne_ was there. He seemed almost…tender…with River. It was so out of character for him. Mal would occasionally peak into the room. Every time he did, Jayne was holding onto her hand gently stroking her hair or caressing her face.

Two hours later neither man had moved. Mal was outside the infirmary and Jayne was at her side. She started to stir. Jayne got up and ran to the door.

"She's wakin' up!" he called. Simon and Kaylee came down the steps and darted into the room along with Mal. Jayne was right back at her side when she opened her eyes.

"Hey girl," Jayne smiled. She managed a weak smile in return.

"Did we…get the job done?" she asked quietly.

"We did," Jayne assured her before Mal could even open his mouth.

"How am I doing?" she asked groggily.

"You're going to be fine, mei mei."

Simon took her other hand. Her eyes searched the room for his face. He was in the corner of the room looking at her with relief in his beautiful blue eyes.

"Don't you ever do that again, dong ma?" Jayne asked, pulling her eyes from Mal back to him. Mal noticed that she had been staring at him. However, he thought that it was his imagination.

"Do what?" she asked.

"Go leavin' on me like that! Gorramit girl! You had me all scared…"

"Sorry…I'll try to stop doing that…" she smiled.

"You better. 'Cause damnit, I love you."

The room became incredibly still. Simon couldn't believe what he had just heard. Kaylee was happy for River and Jayne, but worried about Simon. Mal's heart stopped along with everything else. He waited to see what she would say back.

River looked at Jayne. He meant it. She could hear it in his thoughts. Her eyes inadvertently shifted to Mal. She didn't know what to say. She liked Jayne. He was a nice distraction, but she didn't know if she loved him.

Inara entered the infirmary and stood beside Mal. River looked back at Jayne shortly after the reminder that was Inara Serra had come crashing onto the scene.

"I love you too."

It wasn't a complete lie. She could _learn_ to love him. And she would. As far she was concerned, the door that led to her "could-have-been's" with Mal had slammed shut and it was locked up tight. Here was this man that loved her, saw her, appreciated her and wanted to form a relationship with her. Who was she to pass that up?

Mal's heart resumed beating and then shattered as he heard those four little words, _"I love you too."_ He watched them kiss with a steadily growing beast rising in his chest. He recognized it. It was the same beast that always appeared when Inara left to meet with clients: jealousy. Then it dawned on him. The reason he felt so gorram lousy when he thought that she would die was the same reason he was jealous of Jayne. He had feelings for her. No wonder it always bothered him that she was with Jayne. No wait, that couldn't be it. He was with _Inara_. He loved _Inara._ River was just a kid. He wouldn't have feelings for her. He pictured himself kissing River and his heart swelled. He pushed that thought out of his mind and returned to the scene unfolding before him.

"Doc, can we have some gorram privacy?" Jayne snapped.

"I…" Simon looked at River. She nodded. "Fine. Everyone out."

Mal noticed that Inara had arrived. He opened his mouth to speak, but she cut across him.

"You don't have to apologize. I understand completely."

That was nothing like what he was going to say, but he nodded and went along with it.

"It's late," she commented.

"Yeah."

"We should get some sleep."

"I s'ppose so."

She gave him a kiss on the cheek and took his hand. She didn't have to ask. They went into her shuttle and climbed into her bed to get some rest. He pulled her close to his chest and wrapped his arms around her.

He didn't have feelings for River. That was crazy. He had the most beautiful, wonderful, woman in his arms. He watched Inara fall asleep. Yeah, that was just crazy. River? No. Not that she wasn't wonderful too. And bright. And gorgeous. And talented. And easy to talk to. And sexy. Sexy? How'd that get in there? He pushed those thoughts out of his mind again. Somehow, they crept back in.

He wondered what it would be like to hold River like he was holding Inara. Then he wondered if Jayne held her like that. After that he wondered what they were doing at that moment. They were probably kissing or talking. Jayne would probably be holding her hand and brushing his lips against hers…

Then she'd fall asleep beside him while _he_ watched her sleep. _He'd_ be there when she woke up. _He'd_ be there to help her recover. _He'd_ be there and Mal wouldn't. And that's when Mal figured something out…_**he **__wanted to be the one to be there._


	8. Chapter 8

When morning broke, Mal wandered down to the infirmary. He looked in through the window. Jayne was still there with River. She was awake, smiling, laughing, talking with Jayne. Mal felt like he should have been the one in there with her. He shook it off, convinced it was just coming from a place of protectiveness like fatherly affection. However, some of the images that ran through his mind disproved that theory…

She was in the infirmary for three days. Jayne never left her side. Mal would walk by periodically just to check in. He'd never go in or let them see that he was there. He'd just peek in upon passing through.

On the forth day she could go back to her room. Jayne's ladder would be too strenuous on her, so she stayed in her room. He stayed in her room as well, especially since they were "in love" with each other. Mal didn't buy it completely.

He watched her more closely. He made note of the way her hair cascaded down her shoulders or the way that the light caught her big brown eyes. He noticed how bright her smile was and how beautiful her laugh was. Something about the way she moved caught his attention too. Every moment was carried out with flawless grace, even if it was just using a pair of chopsticks. He didn't like how he noticed her. It unnerved him. He shouldn't be. He was in a relationship, she was in a relationship, he was old, she was young, he was dumb, she was a genius…so many reasons and yet none of them mattered to him.

"We should lay low for a bit. If Lihai can track us…" Zoe trailed off.

"I agree. We need someplace to hide out and get some of the things we need. First we drop Fanty and Mingo's cut. Then we go," Mal agreed.

"Where?" Simon asked. He had a point.

"Harrisburg is shiny this time of year. It's a nice lil' place, kinda outta the way, but still nice. It's got a big junkyard outside of town. I could find all the parts we need for cheap," Kaylee offered.

"That sounds good. We'll go there after making the drop," Mal nodded.

The ride to Beaumonde wasn't as long as the first time, although it felt longer to Mal. River was on the mend, but still weak. Her relationship was very public, even more so, and driving him mad. He hated watching them when they were together, which was basically every second of every day. It made him want to punch someone, preferably Jayne.

The drop went well. River set the course for Harrisburg. It would be a week or so since they once again had to go to the ass-end of the 'verse.

Sometimes at night when Mal was with Inara he felt like there was an invisible wall keeping them at bay. Even though she was right there, in his arms against his body, he felt like she was far away. He just couldn't let her in. He wanted to, but he couldn't lower his defenses. He never knew how to act around her. She had no idea that anything was wrong.

They landed on the tiny dust-ball of a planet after the week was up. It was a pretty dust-ball, but not the safest planet in the 'verse. They were stuck in the past, like most planets that far out from the core. They still had saloons, sheriffs, cowboy hats, the works.

"I need lots of parts!" Kaylee exclaimed. That was her secret way of letting Mal know that she'd need a lot of money.

"Fine, little Kaylee. Here. Take this," he forked over half of their earnings.

"Shiny, Cap'in! We'll get Serenity up 'n flyin' in no time! Easy peasy!" Kaylee beamed.

"This ain't the safest place to wander alone as a visitor. Everyone has to have someone go with them if they leave," Mal announced. Everyone nodded in agreement. "We need food, parts, and medical supplies so I'm thinkin' that we'll break off into three groups."

"I need someone strong to come with me. These parts ain't light by no means," Kaylee sighed.

"Jayne, you'll go with Kaylee," Mal decided.

"Why me?" he grumbled.

"'Cause you're the strongest one here."

"Fine," he growled. He wasn't in the mood to go poking around in a junkyard all gorram day.

"Obviously Simon is gonna go get the medical supplies," Mal added.

"I'll go," Zoe offered. "He could use someone to barter for a lower price."

"I know how to barter," Simon said. Zoe gave him a _"Suurrreee you do" _look. "I do!"

"You might need someone intimidating to get the intimidation discount or a woman to get the pretty lady discount," Zoe explained.

"There are discounts for that?" Simon asked.

"I rest my case," Zoe smirked.

"Okay, Zoe you're with Simon. That leaves the food to me."

"And me," River reminded him. His heart stopped.

"What 'bout 'Nara?" Kaylee asked.

"I'll stay in. Someone should stay with the ship and the humidity isn't good for my hair," Inara joked.

"It's settled. How much do you need for the medical supplies?" Mal asked.

"Well…" Simon thought for a moment. Zoe reached across the table and took some money.

"We'll make due, Sir."

Mal nodded. "Let's get goin'."

Inara walked over to him and gave him a quick peck on the cheek before leaving. Everyone else walked out into the heavy air together.

"We's need a lot, Jayne. So don't get tired too quick," Kaylee warned.

"Gorram _shiny_. I get to spend my damn day in this heat workin' like a dog," Jayne complained.

"See you later," River said to him as she stood on her tip toes to give him a quick kiss on the cheek like Inara had done only Jayne didn't settle for that. They had a very long and _nonverbal_ goodbye that made everyone feel a bit awkward.

Kaylee and Jayne went off towards out of town while Simon and Zoe went towards the medical office. Mal and River walked into the market together.

The market was in a big rundown barn. Farmers from around brought their goods. All of the food looked tantalizingly delicious, but they couldn't afford any of it. They had to go with protein, as always.

Another tantalizingly beautiful thing that he couldn't get was floating along beside him, stopping periodically to look at what the vendors had to offer. He rarely took his eyes off of her. She twirled about with her dancer grace making her dress swish about as she did so. She turned towards him with a classic look on her face and an apple in her hand.

"Are you _sure_ that we can't afford anything other than protein?" she asked sadly.

"I'm afraid so, darlin'. But I think maybe we could spare some money for one apple."

She smiled and his heart pounded. He paid for the apple and they continued to walk in silence. She took a few bites and then held it up in front of him.

"Take a bite. It's good."

"Are you sure you wanna share that with the likes of me?"

She laughed. "Just take a bite before I change my mind."

He took a small bite and they resumed slowly meandering through the market. Some of the breads and meats smelled really good, but they walked past them to get to the boring section: the proteins.

They negotiated a price, which had something to do with Mal's intimidating manner and River batting her eyes prettily, before taking the food back to the ship. River set her basket of food down on the counter next to Mal's. She blew some hair out of her face and then looked around.

"What are you lookin' for?" he asked.

"I swear that there was another basket…"

"Come to think of it, you were carryin' two…"

"And we're missing the protein bars."

"Damn, we left it there."

He was happy that he got to spend a little bit more time with her. They rarely were alone anymore.

"We have to go get it," she sighed, also a little happy to spend some more time with him.

"Let's go 'fore some ruttin' townie takes it."

"I concur."

They went back into town. "This planet ain't half bad," Mal commented.

"It reminds me of some of the Earth-that-was towns from the nineteenth century. They were located on the North American continent towards the western half. The original settlements were on the…" she stopped and smiled sheepishly. "I must be boring you."

"Not at all. I like talkin' to you."

She smiled. "I like talking to you too."

It was his turn to smile. "Thanks, little one. So what about the original settlements?"

"They were on the east coast. The Europeans went over and settled there first. Originally, the western half belonged to Spain. The colonists pushed west and annexed the territory to the United States."

"Ain't that somethin'? You know everything, don't you?"

She felt herself blushing. He was grinning from ear to ear. He still made her get butterflies, no matter what.

"Let's see if we can find ourselves that basket…" he smiled.

She smiled back and they reentered the market. They quickly bypassed everything to get to the protein vendor, hoping that he hadn't left yet. He was still there, but starting to pack up his things for the day.

"Excuse me sir, did we leave a basket here?" River asked.

"Why yes you did, little lady! Here it is. I set it aside, just in case y'all would be back!" he smiled at them and handed the basket over.

They started walking back towards the ship. River felt sick and then a quick flash of the impending massacre appeared before her eyes. She dropped the basket with a gasp. Mal quickly put his arm around her to steady her.

"What's wrong?" he asked as he pushed the rising lump out of his throat.

"R-Reavers…no time to go back. Here. NOW!"

Just as she verbalized it, a ship came into view.

"Zoe and Simon, safe. Jayne and Kaylee, on their way back. Comm."

Mal understood and pulled the comm. unit out of his pocket. "Jayne."

"What is it, Mal?"

"Pick it up, we've got Reavers."

"Gorram!"

"Can't make it back. Have to run. Hide. Tell them to go," River said choppily. She always reverted back when there was trouble.

"Get to the ship and take off. We can make it back in time. Stay away for a day or so and then come back to pick us up."

"But Mal-"

"Do it! Tell Zoe. It's an order!"

River frantically grabbed his hand and took off for a nearby horse. She climbed onto it with Mal behind her. She took the reins and they galloped off before the Reavers hit.

They heard the screams echoing in the distance as they rode to a house close to the town. River jumped off of the horse and once again grabbed his hand to lead him inside.

"Underground basement. Homeowner is away."

They broke in and she pried open the secret door. She motioned to him to climb down into the basement, but he shook his head with a muttered, "You first."

She groaned at his stubbornness, but complied. He followed and they shut the door. It was dark and damp and reminded Mal of a trench he'd rather forget. He felt River slide on the makeshift bench so she was pressed up against him. They both felt each other's fear as they sat there waiting to see if they'd be found and turned into a snack.

"They left. They're safe…" she whispered as she set her head against his shoulder. He put his arm around her and held her close hoping to bring some sort of comfort to one or both of them.

They didn't want to think about what might happen if they were found. Obviously they'd be raped to death, eaten, and then their skin would be sewn into the Reaver's clothes…hopefully if they were _real_ lucky, in that order…


	9. Chapter 9

Three hours. Three. That's how long it took the ship of Reavers to kill every living soul on the surface and clear out. They were completely alone. Everyone else was gone and they didn't even try to help them. They knew that they wouldn't have survived if they had.

Mal felt a mite uncomfortable staying in the house. The homeowners were gone, but that didn't mean that they should just crash there until Serenity returned. Every time he tried the comm. it didn't work. He knew that they would be out of range, but at least it gave him some sense of purpose.

"It gets cold outside," she said plainly. "We have to stay indoors. Here. I don't want to go out there and see…" she trailed off. He gave her a sympathetic pat on the arm before scrounging around for something for them to eat.

"They should return soon…" River sighed as she poked at her food with a pair of wooden chopsticks.

"Hopefully in the mornin'. We should probably get some rest," he said as he swept the house with his eyes. There was only one bed pushed in the corner.

"A man lives here. He travels. Doesn't spend much time at home…" she explained.

"Oh. Well you can take the bed. I've got the couch…" he paused. There was no couch. "Okay, I'll take the chair or floor."

"You don't have to."

"No. I wanna keep watch anyhow. I'd sleep too well in a bed."

"I want to keep watch too."

"So we'll keep watch in shifts."

"Alright…" she pushed her plate away. "They're worried."

"The crew?"

"Yes. All of them are. Simon is worried sick about me. Jayne too…"

He tried to keep himself from scowling or scoffing, but must have failed miserably.

"What?" she asked.

"I…nothin'."

"It's not nothing. Reader…" she reminded him.

He didn't know if it was the right time to approach the subject or not, but he blurted it out. "Can I ask you somethin'?"

"It isn't like there's anything else to do."

"Why are you with him?"

"What?"

"Why are you with Jayne?" he asked.

She was taken aback by the question. "I…" she swallowed hard and she looked away. "I love him."

"I don't believe you."

"What?"

"I don't believe you."

"Why is it so hard to believe that I love him?"

"'Cause you shouldn't be with him!" He stood up and started to pace.

"What?" River asked breathlessly.

"You shouldn't be with him, you should be with me!"

Her heart stopped. He realized what slipped out and stopped pacing. He looked at her like _"Oh go se…"_

"I shouldn't be with Jayne…I should be with you?" she repeated, unable to believe that she heard him correctly.

"Yes!" he couldn't stop after that. The words kept flowing. He was never one to spill his guts, but River was always so easy talk to.

"I can't stand seein' you two together! Every time I do I wanna punch someone because it should be me! I should be the one you talk to! I should be the one holdin' you! I should be the one that's there for you, not him!"

She couldn't believe what she was hearing. "You have the _worst_ gorram timing!" she spat.

"What?"

"_Over_ a year I've been on your boat! I've been there, but you haven't noticed! I find someone that does notice and I _finally_ start to move on and _now_ you notice me?" she exploded as she stood up.

"Move on?"

"Blind bird finds its way home after the other flies away…" she muttered.

"I-"

"Don't say anything!" she snapped. He shut his mouth. "I was in love with you and you didn't even see it! The second you see me with someone else you decide that you want me! I have the right to be with anyone I want to be with! I wasn't about to wait around forever! What about Inara? It was always Inara! You only had eyes for her and then suddenly you're telling me that you want to be the one, not Jayne?"

"I-"

"I TOLD YOU NOT TO SAY ANYTHING!" he obeyed. "I've moved on! You _can't_ have me!" she was close to tears. Why? Why now? Why couldn't he have come to her before she got involved with Jayne?

He took a few steps towards her and carefully put his hand on her face. Their eyes locked. Why did he have to be so gorram handsome? Why?

As a single tear fell from her big eyes, he gently wiped it away with his thumb. She looked so amazing in the dim lights. It was like she was the source of it all. He wanted to kiss her, so he slowly started to lean in. She didn't move away. She shut her eyes as he tenderly followed through. She kissed back and wrapped her arms around his neck. _You can have me_, she thought simply.

She threaded her fingers in his perfect hair, determined to mess it up. She kissed him back harder. He kissed her back just as hard. In that moment, nothing else mattered. Jayne, Inara, the age difference, all of it. It was all meaningless. So what if they were in other relationships? So what if they had just survived a Reaver attack? So what if it wasn't their gorram house? The only thing that mattered was them. What they wanted, what they _needed,_ and that was each other.

All the passion in the 'verse was in their kiss. All of the feelings that had simmered under the surface for so long exploded with a fiery force that neither one of them had ever felt before. And even through all of the fire, it somehow maintained the sweet romantic feeling it originally had when his lips first brushed so gently against hers.

His arms found their way around her and they finally broke apart gasping for air. He set his forehead against hers. He wasn't sure where they were going to from there. She pulled back and looked deeply into his eyes. There was no question of what she wanted and he wanted it too. Her small hands found the buttons of his shirt. She slowly pushed his suspenders down and pulled the shirt off of him, tossing it aside. Her hands then found their way up his chest and to his face. They kissed again, this time even harder than before.

She was undoing his belt in an instant while he kissed her everywhere he possibly could. The belt was off and so were his pants. He stepped out of his boots and got to work on her dress. He pulled it over her head, disappointed to see more garments underneath. Her tops were off followed by the bottoms and somehow they managed to simultaneously add the rest of his clothes to the pile on the floor.

After the frenzied process of undressing was over, he pulled her into his arms and kissed her softly. He slowly led her to the bed in between sweet kisses. It was a shock to be with someone so tender because she was so used to the savage animalistic sex she had with Jayne.

He gently laid her down. He kissed her once more before placing kisses all over her face and neck. He found an especially sensitive spot on her collarbone that made her shiver under his mouth. He continued the slow exploration of her body with his lips. She had scars from her fight with the Reavers and the "Dragon teeth." She was too young to have scars, he concluded as he kissed each one like it would magically heal her. He knew that most of her scars were on the inside which saddened him even more.

His rough hands ran down her tiny dancer legs at a snail's pace. He wanted to feel every inch of her warm skin. She writhed under his torturous touch. It had taken Jayne weeks to find her weaknesses and yet Mal had found them already.

He kissed every bit of her chest, taking extra time on her collarbone and breasts. She held onto his back like if she didn't she'd shatter into a million pieces. Her breathing was ragged against him as he flicked his tongue over the nape of her neck. She couldn't stand it. He was taking his time and driving her mad while doing so. She wanted him _bad_.

"Mal…" she wantonly breathed. He took just a moment to treasure the way she said his name. She never called him by name _ever_. He liked how it sounded in her voice.

He kissed her long and hard before climbing up her body. He ran his hand down her calf and ran his tongue across her weak point along her collarbone. She shuddered with a small moan. He slowly entered her, causing her to hang onto his back tighter as her back arched slightly. Just like everything else he had done, he went agonizingly slow all the while putting his hands and mouth all over her. She shattered underneath him. If she hadn't been clinging to his body she probably would have broken into a million pieces from the sheer intensity of the pleasure and love surging through her entire body.

After catching her breath, she kissed him hard and rolled them over. The bed was too small, so they wound up tumbling onto the floor with the blankets wrapped around them. He hit the floor with a thud and she landed on his chest. He grinned from the fall and pulled her into another kiss. It was her turn to explore his scarred, rough, warm, tempting body with her lips and hands.

Her warm hands ghosted over his chest sending ripples of electricity and pleasure through his skin. They found every scar he had. Her mouth insisted on tasting all of them as well. He loved the way her tongue slid across his flesh. It captivated him completely. Her mouth found his tattoo along with her gentle touch. Her hand slid up his thigh to his member. He groaned as she went to work. She crawled up his body, kissing as she went, to find his lips once again. He wrapped an arm around her back while his other hand was on the back of her head caught in her hair to deepen the lip lock.

She went extra slow just like he had done as pay back. She found one of his weaknesses along his thigh. Her touch was enough to make him lose control entirely, but she made him hang on for just a bit longer. When he couldn't take it anymore, she relented and he unraveled causing her to do the same for a second time. She collapsed across his chest with a smile. He held her close like he had imagined for some time. He found that it was everything he thought it would be and more. She felt the same and after their crazy night, they fell asleep in each other's arms despite their plans to keep watch.

"Sir? Sir? SIR? ARE YOU THERE?" Zoe's voice crackled through the comm. waking both of them up with a little jump. Mal reluctantly got up and walked over to it.

"We're here," his voice was thick with sleep.

"So are we. Where are you?"

"A little out of town. We'll meet you at the market."

"See you there."

They got dressed in silence and then started the walk to the market.

"River," he began ready to spill his guts again.

"No. What happened was a mistake. I want to pretend like it never occurred and no one else will know that it did either, _dong ma_?" her voice was cold, harsh even.

"But-"

"Dong ma?"

She didn't stand around to listen to what he had to say. She started walking faster and the market came into view along with the crew. Jayne saw her and broke out into a run. He pulled her into his arms with a kiss.

"Gorram girl, you scared me half to death! Don't ever do that again!" he snapped.

Inara walked over to Mal and hugged him before giving him a little peck. She followed his eyes to Jayne and River sharing a very nonverbal conversation.

"Sweet isn't it?" she asked.

He ignored the question and his shattering heart. "Zoe, how's the ship?"

"Good."

"Let's go," he said gruffly as he brushed past Simon and Kaylee. River watched him storm off, feeling heartbreak. Whether it belonged to him or her, she didn't know.


	10. Chapter 10

"Set a course for Greenleaf," Mal said to River once they got onto the ship. His voice was flat and emotionless.

She only nodded and left for the bridge. Mal retreated to his bunk without another word to get cleaned up and sort his jumbled emotions out.

The more he thought back on what occurred between them the angrier he became. It wasn't a mistake. Hell no. It was the best gorram thing that ever happened in the entire ruttin' 'verse! She didn't act like it was a mistake the night before. She was the one that went for his shirt. She was the one undressing him. She made it perfectly clear what she wanted and didn't even hesitate. Yet the next morning she says that it was wrong and she never wants to remember it. In her mind it never took place. It meant _nothing_. _He _meant _nothing_. And she broke his damn heart.

He started pacing his small room. He knew that if he left he'd have to witness River and _him_ and talk to Inara. Damnit, he couldn't keep stringing her along. There had always been something off about their relationship. The invisible wall. Communications just couldn't get through. Even when he was with her he still felt lonely. Not to mention her occupation. He wasn't even aware anything was wrong until he stopped talking to River. The void she left in his heart when she started sleeping with Jayne couldn't be filled with Inara or anything else. She made him _whole_. And she was probably in Jayne's bunk sexin' him up even though she had been with him.

Finally he decided to join the rest of the crew around lunch time. River and Jayne were sitting at the table talking, completely enthralled in each other. He couldn't watch them, so he stormed out towards the cargo bay. He didn't know where he was going. It didn't matter as long as he didn't have to watch _that_.

He bumped into Inara. _Oh great, _he thought as he dreaded the fight that would surely accompany their conversation.

"There you are! You haven't even said two words to me since you came back," she sighed.

"Yeah…"

"Three words. You must be pretty shaken up from the attack…"

"No, I'm okay."

"I'm glad."

She searched his eyes and didn't like what she saw.

"What's been bothering you? You've been a bit…distant…since," she paused to think about when his behavior changed. "Since the Lihai job."

"Inara," he began a bit timidly. "We…us…this…it just…ain't workin'."

"What do you mean?"

"You're smart and beautiful and wonderful and classy…"

"I'm sensing a 'but' coming…"

"But I don't think that we work."

"So you're breaking up with me?"

"…"

"Why?"

"We don't talk a lot and when we do we always end up fightin' and it's not even really 'cause you disagree. You judge a lot, like assumin' that I'm simple minded or heartless when I'm not. I do what I do 'cause I think it's right. No other reason. And you're job gets in the way. I'm not sayin' that you're a possession, but when I have a girl I want her to be with just me."

"You could have asked me to stop being a Companion."

"I wouldn't ask you to do that for me. And honestly, would you?"

She nodded. "I understand, but I don't like it."

"Wouldn't think that you would anyhow, darlin'."

"I'll get off on Greenleaf."

"I'm not kickin' you out! I want you to stay. I meant it when I asked you to. 'Sides, Kaylee is gonna want you 'round for that weddin' her and the doc are gonna be havin' eventually…"

She laughed. "True. I don't know if I could be here knowing that we aren't together or at least that we don't have a shot…"

"Don't leave 'cause of me. You have friends here and aren't you a fan of our girl here?" he asked as he patted the bulkhead.

"You know that I love this ship."

"Then stay."

"I'll think about it."

"Glad to hear it."

He started to walk away, but she caught his wrist.

"Mal…" she pressed her lips to his cheek.

He smiled at her and continued on his way. She always was dignified. He meant it. He liked her, they just didn't work.

It came out that he broke up with Inara. River was shocked. He could tell by look on her face, but she didn't say anything. Actually, she had stopped talking to him completely. If he tried, she'd just respond with a nod and walk away. If she had something to tell him, he'd get it through Jayne. It was like a slap to the face every time the mercenary walked over to him and would start with the words, "_River wants me to tell you…_"

He was going to leave it be for awhile to give her time to calm down, but three weeks of the silent treatment he started to change his mind. It wasn't until one night he finally lost it and decided it was time to give her a talking to.

********

He couldn't sleep, as usual. He was sitting at the table with some water and a few papers he was trying to sort.

_-Click-_

His head shot up from the table as he heard the unmistakable sound of a hatch opening. Sure enough, River had slipped out of Jayne's bunk and gone to the bridge. He made the impulsive decision to go talk to her.

She sat down on the pilot's seat in her nightclothes after getting out of bed with Jayne. He had gotten injured on a job and wasn't feeling too well. So she waited until he fell asleep before retreating to the bridge.

Mal was on her mind. He had broken up with Inara and she was dizzied by the new development. She had to stick to her guns. She was with Jayne now. Moved on. That night was just a moment of weakness. They had just been through something terrifying together and he was all emotional and sweet. She'd always be affected by him, but she couldn't be with him. That was where she stood. But he broke up with Inara. Where did he stand? That was an obstacle out of the way. What if he wanted to be with her? What then?

_-SwishClangClunk-_

He had marched onto the bridge while she was thinking. She didn't even hear, sense, or feel him enter. She was cornered. He had shut and _locked_ the door. They were alone and there was no way out. She couldn't get by without talking this time.

_Wo de ma_, he was barely dressed. He was only in his pajama pants and an open shirt again showing off most of his chest.

"We need to talk," he said plainly as he folded his arms. She could tell that he was ready for a fight. "Which _you_ seem to have forgotten how to do. I don't much like my pilot givin' me the silent treatment. That's all sorts of unprofessional and I'm takin' it personally."

"I'm sorry, Captain."

"Now the last time we talked, I believe that you cut me off midsentence without lettin' me speak my piece."

"I-"

"No, you're gonna sit there and listen to me!"

He waited until her full attention was on him and she was quiet as a mouse.

"What we did in that house wasn't a mistake. Not for me. It wasn't just a notch in my bedpost either. I may of taken too long to figure out that I have these feelin's for you, but that don't change the fact that they're there now and have been for sometime. I wasn't ready to acknowledge them and that don't make it right. And you're right. You had the right to move on and if he makes you happy and you love him, then good for you. I'll stay out of it. But you can't sit there and look me in the eye and tell me that it was a mistake 'cause it wasn't."

He took a breath. She knew that he wasn't finished and waited for his next speech.

"When you were lyin' there in the infirmary, bleedin' and fightin' for your life, I felt like my heart was bein' ripped outta my chest. That's when I realized there will never be another you. Ever…"

His gaze stayed with hers.

"I'm done. That's all I have to say."

He turned to leave but stopped.

"If he doesn't make you happy, you shouldn't be with him. You should be with someone that makes you the happiest in the 'verse. You deserve that."

"Wait," her voice was shaky. What would she say to that? Her heart was pounding. She had always wanted to hear him say that, and he finally did. She knew he meant it. Maybe she didn't have to be with Jayne. Maybe could be with him. God she wanted to…

He looked her in the eye once again with a hopeful flutter in his chest.

"…he isn't you. Never will be. Never can be."

"She wasn't you and never could be."

They looked at each other again and nothing had to be said. They understood each other entirely.

"Mal-"

She stood up just as he got to the pilot's chair and they held onto each other while locked into a passionate kiss. Any doubts in their mind were gone for good. She pushed his shirt off of his shoulders. He let his hand roam her back while the other got tangled in her hair. In a blink their clothes were gone and they had fallen onto the pilot's chair.

He kissed her collarbone, recalling the way it made her shudder, and then worked his way up her neck, across her throat, up her chin and jaw, over her cheeks and forehead, down her cute little nose, finally meeting her lips with his own. She held him by the nape of the neck allowing her fingertips to traipse through his hair and across his shoulders.

His rough hands continued to wander down her back and sides while their frantic kissing continued. It was as if they stopped for a split second, the 'verse would come to a dramatic and tragic end. He felt a small scar he recognized as one of the many marks the projectiles made along her chest and he felt a pang of sadness surge through him. She pulled back, resting her forehead on his and her lips ghosting along his jaw.

"I'm alright," she breathed.

"Now…" his voice was guilt laden.

She took his chin in her hand and looked him straight in the eye.

"It wasn't your fault. Just because you let me go doesn't mean that you're the one that put me in the line of fire. _I_ did that. _I_ pushed you behind me. _I_ took your gun. And _I _shot them. _They_ shot back. For good reason…"

He managed a small smile. She smiled back and ran her thumb down his mouth before pressing her lips to his once again. She let them move down his neck and chest. He picked her up so her body was in range of his mouth and hands. She laughed when she felt his tongue flick across her navel. She gently tugged on his hair so he would look up at her and so she could kiss him again, which she did.

Finally they moved to the next level, both panting and clinging to each other like the only other choice would be falling down. Their foreheads were pushed together, each feeling the other's warm breath on their lips. He was pushed over the edge first causing her to follow. It took all that she had to avoid digging her nails into his back too deeply for fear of hurting him.

He kissed her long and hard with everything he had. His heart and soul was hers and he wanted her to know that. He opened his mind to her hoping she'd read him while he still held her close, only she had moved into his lap tucked neatly against his chest. He moved some of her hair out of her face so he could kiss her temple. _I'm yours, sweetheart. All yours._


	11. Chapter 11

She drifted off to sleep in his arms. He smiled as he felt her steady breathing against his chest. There was no gorram way that he was about to let her go. Not now, not ever. _'Cause_, he mused as he looked down at her peaceful form, _I love her and I'm an idiot for takin' this long to figure it out._

He hated to do it, but morning was closing in and they were both naked and locked away on the bridge. She felt her captain kiss her lightly while gently running his hand up and down her arm. He felt her stir.

"Mornin' little albatross," he whispered.

"Morning…" she smiled.

"We should get movin'…"

"Don't want to…neither do you."

"No I don't, but we have to."

She nodded. Her hair tickled his neck. She looked up at him and he kissed her again without a second thought. They reluctantly got up and got dressed, already missing each other's touch. She threaded her arms around his waist.

"You told me to be with someone that makes me the happiest girl in the 'verse…" she paused and kissed his cheek. "And that's you…" she added as she whispered sweetly into his ear. He grinned.

"Wanna give us a go?" he asked with a bit of apprehension as to what her response would be.

"Yes. And I'm sorry about before…I didn't mean to hurt you I was confused and I thought that we could never be because of Inara and-"

"That don't matter. I thought me and Inara were meant to be, but it just didn't work. Seems there was another woman that filled the holes she couldn't…" he smirked.

"And of whom do you speak?" she inquired with that smile of hers.

"She's about…this tall…" he put his hand on the top of her head. "This wide…" he moved it back to her waist. "She has long dark hair…like this…" he playfully ran his hand through her hair. "And has big beautiful brown eyes. Oh and a gorgeous smile..."

She heard the word in his mind, but she once told him that just because she knew something didn't mean that he didn't have to vocalize it.

He lightly brushed his lips across hers and she made the decision.

"I'm going to end things with him by tonight."

"Are you sure 'bout this, little albatross? Is this what you want?"

"Yes. I'm sure. It's always been you, Mal. Always. Even when I was with him…"

"Sorry it took so long for me to come 'round, darlin'."

"You were _always_ slow," she joked.

"Hey!"

She laughed and straightened his shirt.

"We should leave before anyone wakes up."

"I don't wanna."

"I never said that I did."

"We have a job today, so you'll be watchin' my boat."

"Yes, Captain."

"I like it better when you call me 'Mal'."

"Yes, _Mal_."

He grinned. "Much better."

They kissed a final time before exiting the bridge. He didn't let go of her hand until he absolutely had to. For the first time since she hooked up with Jayne, he felt happy and whole again.

Breakfast was a bit tense for them. Jayne wanted to know where she had gone. She didn't lie…she just avoided the entire truth. She told him that he was sleeping and she was restless, so she went to the bridge to watch the stars before morning. He seemed to accept her answer with ease. He never was the sharpest tool in the shed.

She held off breaking up with him so she wouldn't ruin his focus on their job. He was already injured and in pain anyway. If she added heartbreak to his list of aches, the job would go pear-shaped the moment they entered town.

The job was an all day thing. The meet, the agreement, the heist, the bounty, the drop, and the return. Luckily only Zoe returned with a few scrapes. She didn't even have to speak to Simon.

River planned to break things off after dinner. Once again she had to hold off because Simon needed to speak with her. That wasn't a rare thing. He'd pull her aside all of the time to discuss Jayne or something about her medications, so no one thought anything of it. Jayne went down to his bunk for the night already having made it perfectly clear that he _wasn't_ in the mood for sex and Mal went down to his bunk to work on paperwork.

Mal heard his hatch opening and looked up in surprise with his hand hovering over his gun. When he saw that it was River he smiled and set the papers down.

"Hey what-" he stopped in his tracks. She was crying and shaking all over.

Without another word, he was up out of his chair and holding her close. He gently stroked her silky hair for a bit before speaking. He read the situation all wrong, but he wasn't aware of that at the time.

"What did Jayne do? I'm gonna toss him out the airlock!"

"It wasn't him," she sniffed shakily into his neck.

"What's the matter then, sweetheart?"

"Simon took some blood the other day to check my medicine levels. He found something."

His chest tightened. Surely something wasn't seriously wrong. What if it was? He couldn't lose her…he couldn't. Not when they had only just began a relationship.

"What did he find?" he asked as he shoved past the lump in his throat.

"It's not life threatening or an illness. I'm…pregnant."

"Pregnant?"

"Yes."

"Do you know when the little one was conceived?"

"Simon says I'm three weeks along, and I don't know if the child is yours or his. I don't know what to do…" she started crying again.

He soothingly kissed away the tears before taking her hands in his. He looked into her eyes and wiped away a few more tears.

"Don't cry. It's not the end of the 'verse. We'll get a paternity test done and-"

"But then he'll know that I wasn't faithful."

"Does that really matter?"

"Yes! Breaking up with him is one thing, but betraying him is another. He won't take it lightly and he might even go after you."

"I can handle him."

"We still have to live on this boat with him. And if the baby is his, we can't be on bad terms. I can't do that to him or her…"

"We won't know if it's his or mine unless we get the test. He doesn't have to know. Simon's your brother and the doc. We can keep it quiet."

"More secrets, more lies…"

"I can handle Jayne. This has to be done. We have to know. Now it don't matter to me if that little one is his or mine 'cause it's _yours_ and that's all that's important to me. But, they have a right to know where they came from."

"You're right."

"So we can keep this between the two of us and Simon, or we can make it public."

"I want to keep this a secret as long as I possibly can."

"Now you want secrets?"

She managed a weak smile.

"The earliest I can get the test done is eight weeks."

"Five weeks to wait…"

"And then another week for results."

"We'll just have to stick it out."

"I haven't broken up with him yet and by then he'll know about the baby…"

"What are you sayin'?"

"I can't break up with him just yet."

"Why not?"

"I have to be on good terms with him. If this is his child-"

"If it is, will you stay with him?"

"I don't know. He's not a terrible person. He loves me and he'd love this baby."

Mal looked away unable to believe what he was hearing.

"After all the things you said this morning and I said last night, you're tellin' me that you'll stay with him? I'm gettin' mixed signals, just like back in that gorram house!"

"Things out in the Black are hard enough as is! I don't want my son or daughter to suffer because I'm not with their father!"

"My mother raised me and the forty hands on my ranch and I turned out just fine!"

"But you had stability! Out here I can't offer that! We're here one day, somewhere else the next. Hiding, fighting, running, staying. We barely get by with the crew we have now! I can't drive him away or turn him against us when we need him up here!"

"We need him? Me 'n Zoe got by just fine without him!"

"I want what's best for my child," she took his hand and put it on her tummy. "And I think that that's two parents that are together."

"I don't disagree with that. I already said it. It don't matter whose baby that is. I'll still be there. If it is his, he will too. He'll still be on the ship and so will everyone else. This kid is gonna have plenty of family."

"He may be here, but he's the type that would still be hostile to both of us. I don't want him or her in that environment."

"That doesn't mean that you have to be with him if you don't want to be!"

"I have someone else to think about now. I can't be selfish."

"Don't mean that you have to be selfless either, darlin'."

"I'll get the test done when the time comes. Until then…"

"I'm not goin' no place. I'm here. Whenever you need me."

"Thank you."

"Don't mention it."

He placed a sweet kiss on her forehead before tenderly putting his hand back on her tummy. She put her hand over his and then left him standing in his bunk with the weight of the 'verse on his shoulders.

What if that kid was Jayne's? He already knew where she'd be. With _him_ again. Why did she have to be so gorram selfless? She told him that he was always the one, always, but yet she'd give him up and what they could have, what they had, for her baby. That was one of the many things he admired about her. Always thinking of others. Like on Mr. Universe's moon when she reportedly leapt through the door in order to save them all. She did what she had to do for them, and that's what she'd do for her child.

But…what if the kid was his? She was a mite young to be a mother and he was a mite old and washed up to be a father. But, he couldn't help smiling at the thought. He had always wanted a family. However that was before the war. After that he forgot everything. Faith, love, family, trust, happiness. All of it was gone until River Tam danced into his life. Maybehaps being a daddy wasn't a bad thing. Sure he wasn't the shiniest, but as he said there was a whole ship full of people to help. Good people. No, _great_ people.

For a moment he thought about the negative. Just a moment. Inara and Jayne would find out that they had been cheated on. Inara was dignified, but even so she'd slap him and then leave immediately. Jayne would definitely try to kill him in his sleep or flat out. Hell, he might even toss a grenade into his bunk. Yet, Mal smiled thinking that it would be worth the slap and punch/bullet/blade he would surely receive.

So he had only been with River twice. So it took him forever to figure out he had feelings for her. That didn't matter. He just knew deep down that they would work because it felt right and because…because he loved her. He loved her so much and love like that surely could last a lifetime and then some, possibly even to the end of time even though he knew that relationships were hard work and parenting was even harder. He was never one to back down from a fight. Well, one worth fighting anyway. And this was worth it. More than worth it.


	12. Chapter 12

It had been two weeks since she found out that she was pregnant. Simon was kind enough to keep it quiet. She hadn't approached the paternity test issue with him. She wasn't in the mood for the lecture or the explaining that would come with it.

She didn't break up with Jayne. Luckily his injury along with an additional one he picked up accidentally after pushing too hard during his work out kept him from wanting anything more than a goodnight kiss. After which she'd leave to wherever she went to. He had no clue that she would leave his bunk only to go down to Mal's.

She knew it was wrong to be with them both, but for the time being she didn't want to make any decisions. She had to know whose the baby was to truly figure things out. She tried to sense it, but she couldn't. The test would have to tell. Until then, she was stuck.

Mal didn't like that she wouldn't break up with Jayne yet. Hell, he hated the idea that in three or four more weeks she would have to choose. He couldn't stand the fact that she might leave him for Jayne even though she didn't want Jayne. She wanted him. He knew that when every night she'd appear in his bunk and slide into bed beside him. He'd wrap his arms around her and they'd go to sleep side by side. And if Jayne hadn't been in pain one day, maybe they could have had more time together.

********

"How are you feeling, mei mei? Any morning sickness, dizziness, fatigue, faintness…" Simon asked.

River was there for a check up just to see how things were.

"Not really. I'm a little more tired…"

"Other than that you're fine?"

"Yes."

"When are you going to tell him?"

"Not yet. How is the baby?"

"Well, everything seems fine so far, but you're only five weeks along. Most people don't know until this point or later that they're even pregnant-"

Simon was unaware that Jayne had just opened the door to come for some pain relievers for his aching back and shoulders. Jayne cut him off midsentence looking directly at River.

"You're pregnant?" he asked.

River froze. She didn't want him to know. Not yet. Not until _after_ the test. She couldn't lie. Simon had accidentally spilled the preverbal beans.

"Yes."

Jayne grinned and lifted her into his arms, kissing her roughly.

"We's gonna have a baby!"

Simon smiled, completely oblivious to the situation, and River forced a believable smile as well.

After that everyone knew. Jayne announced it at dinner and everyone congratulated them. Kaylee hugged River tightly and then Inara followed suit. Zoe just smiled slightly and nodded with a muttered sentiment while Mal acted like he didn't know for River's sake. She looked at him with the words in her eyes. _"Thank you"_

Needless to say, River didn't show up in Mal's bunk that night. He already missed her. He'd go crazy if he never got to hold her again. He was addicted to her. Everything about her. At that point he decided that he wasn't going to give up without a fight. But if he lost, he'd lose graciously even if on the inside he was dying. That's what he learned from the war. Keeping everything inside. Pain, sorrow, grief all wrapped up and tucked into a little Easter egg hidden deep down away from prying eyes. He hoped that he didn't have to do that. She was the only person in the 'verse that could find it. She saw into his soul and wanted him anyway.

Another three weeks passed. Mal and River tried to find time to at least talk to each other alone for a few minutes. He missed her lips and her touch, but he took what he could get. Finally she asked for the test a little hesitantly.

********

"Simon," she called as she stuck her head into the infirmary.

"Yes?" he asked as he turned to her.

"I need to speak to you."

"Alright."

She entered and shut the door making sure that it was locked. She didn't want a repeat of what happened with Jayne before.

"What is this about, mei mei?"

"I need you to run a test."

"What kind of test?"

"Paternity…" she swallowed hard waiting for the inevitable lengthy conversation.

"A paternity test?"

"Yes."

"The only reason you need that is if you don't know who the father is."

"I know what it is, Simon."

"But it's Jayne."

"Maybe."

"You cheated on him?" he wasn't angry, just shocked.

"Yes…please don't judge."

"I'm not going to judge. I'm just…stunned…is all. Could you at least explain this situation to me while I prepare the test? I'll need DNA from the possible fathers."

"I know. I have it. And yes, I can explain."

She handed him the two samples, she was able to sneak one from Jayne, and sat down on one of the extra beds.

"Jayne was never my first choice. We just sort of happened. He's a decent man and has always treated me very well, but he isn't who I love. He never was. I thought that I could learn to love him. That's why I stayed with him. This is why I cheated."

"I don't need a why. I told you I'm not judging. That child is going to be my niece or nephew and I'd like to know who his or her father might be."

"It's Mal."

Simon almost dropped what he had in his hands and turned to her. How is it that she attracted such older men? Why couldn't she like boys her own age like a normal girl?

"The captain?"

"I love him. I always have and always will."

"And what about him? Where does he stand with you?"

"He wants to be with me."

"When did you two…?"

"On Harrisburg after the Reavers attacked."

"Is that why he broke up with Inara?"

"Yes, among other reasons."

"How does he feel about the possibility that this baby might be his? Does he know?"

"He knew before everyone else. He wants to raise this child regardless of whose he or she is."

Simon had to admit that he always admired the captain's character.

"What are you going to do?" he asked.

"I don't know. It all depends on the results of this test."

Simon nodded and started the test hoping that everything would be alright for his little sister. If it wasn't, he'd kill them both.

********

That night they were gathered for dinner. Jayne had mysteriously disappeared for a short amount of time before reappearing with a catlike grin and a twinkle in his eyes.

"What are you smilin' 'bout?" Kaylee asked.

He didn't answer. He simply walked, more like strutted, over to River and dropped beside her to his knee. Everyone watched in shock knowing what was next. Sure enough, a tiny box appeared with a shiny ring in it.

"River, will you marry me?"

She looked at the ring and then at Jayne in terror. Why couldn't he have waited until she knew if he was the father or not?

Mal couldn't take it. He wasn't about to sit there and let her say yes knowing that she didn't want him. Well at least he didn't think that she did. In any case, he hit the table with his fist and stood up dramatically. Everyone's eyes shifted from the couple to their captain slightly confused to why he was acting that way.

"I ain't lettin' this go down without a fight," Mal said through gritted teeth. Only River and Simon knew what was going on.

"What in ruttin' hell are you doin'?" Jayne hissed.

"River," the second he spoke her name her eyes locked with his. She didn't want him to do this, not now, not in front of everyone, but at the same time she got the usual butterflies that came with Mal's voice and eyes.

"I can't sit here 'n watch you say yes without speakin' my piece. The thought of lettin' you slip away scares me half to death. I don't want you to be with him. You know that. But, if you can honestly look me in the eye and tell me that you want to be with him, that you love him, and wanna spend the rest of your days by his side as his wife I will let you go."

The room became uneasily quiet. All eyes were on River, but hers were still locked with Mal's. Jayne finally spoke.

"What are you sayin' Mal?"

"I'm sayin' that I don't want her to be with you."

"Why not? The no shipboard romance rule is shot to hell! Never bothered you 'fore that we was together!"

"It did!"

"Are you implyin' that you want to be with her 'stead of me?"

"No, I'm not implyin' anything! I'm sayin' it flat out!"

"You're in love with her?"

"Yes!" Mal shouted a bit louder than he meant to.

"You are?" River asked breathlessly. She had heard that word, "love," floating around in his thoughts, but hearing him say it was a completely different thing.

"Yeah. I love you."

"Well too gorram bad! She's with me! Tell him!" Jayne bellowed.

"Sweetheart, I didn't want it to be like this. I told you, I'll back off if you can honestly tell me that you want to be with him…" Mal's voice was soft and gentle. He spoke like River was the only person in the room.

"I…" she got up and stood as far away from Jayne as she could and somewhat far away from Mal.

"Stress isn't good for the baby," Simon chimed in, hoping to quell the scene unfolding before him.

"He's right. I shouldn't of said nothin'. I just didn't want to be a bystander," Mal muttered as he turned to leave.

"Wait," River said softly. He stopped and looked at her with sad eyes. She looked between the two men. "No."

"What?" Mal and Jayne asked in unison.

"Jayne…no. I can't marry you."

"Why not?" he demanded.

"I'm sorry, but I'm not in love with you."

"You said you were!"

"I thought that I could learn to…"

"What about him? How do you feel 'bout him? Do you love him?" Jayne badgered while pointing to Mal.

"Yes," she nodded while turning to Mal once again. "I love you too."

The room once again grew uneasily quiet.

"That don't change the fact that she's carryin' my baby," Jayne spat. His voice was laced with heartache, anger, and jealousy.

"Maybe," River's voice was small and scared. She knew what would surely come next.

"What?" Jayne asked.

"This might be your baby."

"What do you mean by 'might be'?" he looked at Mal. "Don't tell me. It could be his too, right?"

"Yes," she whispered.

Jayne nodded and then the fight began. He threw the first punch, which connected harshly with Mal's eye socket. Mal punched him back and they both grabbed each other by the shirt getting ready for a full out brawl. Zoe was ready to pull her gun out, but River stepped in.

"STOP!" she bellowed. They paused and looked at her. "If you love me, you'll stop. You won't kill each other."

Mal let go of Jayne and Jayne reluctantly did the same. After that Jayne stalked off towards the cargo bay and Inara followed with tears in her eyes. Kaylee looked between them as River tenderly examined Mal's face.

"Well…good for you guys…" she trailed off and followed Simon out of the room.

Zoe nodded to them and went to the bridge to give them some alone time.

Mal covered River's hand with his own. "I'm sorry it had to be like that, darlin'."

"I don't care."

"Why not?"

"You said it."

"Said what?"

"I love you."

He smiled widely at her. "I love you, little albatross."

She gave him a quick kiss and then looked at his eye socket again. He could tell by the look in her eyes that she was worried about it.

"I'm fine. It's you I'm worried 'bout. Is everything okay with you 'n the baby?"

"Yes. I got the test done today. We should know in a week."

"I shouldn't of made that scene-"

"Don't. It's fine. I was getting tired of the secrets anyway."

"I made a mess of things, one that I don't think can easily be cleaned up. Maybe we could leave. Settle down someplace…"

"But you love Serenity."

"I love you more."

"I don't think that that's the right answer. Besides, Simon is here. I think that I can put things right with Jayne."

"You do?"

"I think so. He's hurt and angry, but I don't think that he hates me. He hates you."

"That's shiny. I'll have to sleep with one eye open."

"He won't hurt you. I'll make sure of it."

"You don't have to-"

"Yes I do. The only person he'll listen to is me. I'll talk to him later. He needs time to decompress. So do we."

"That we do. You should get some rest for both of you."

"I will. And Mal…" she carefully cupped his face. "I love you."

They kissed once more before going their separate ways for the time being. They didn't want to add fuel to the fire. If she really could smooth things over, they'd have to be extra careful with how they conducted things.


	13. Chapter 13

Mal was sitting in the kitchen later that night with a pack of froze protein over his eye. The throbbing kept him awake along with her absence from his bunk. He heard someone approaching and he hoped that it would be her. Instead it Simon. Mal didn't know why he was coming from the passenger dorms.

"Hey Doc. What has you up and about this late?"

"Working in the infirmary. Speaking of which, do you need me to examine that eye?"

"No, it's just a shiner. It'll be fine in a day or so. 'Till then I s'ppose it'll be all sorts of black and blue."

Simon nodded and then straightened his vest. Mal knew what was coming.

"Do you truly love my sister?"

"Yeah. I do. And I'm gonna do right by her."

"Are you going to do right by her child?"

"Yes I am whether its mine or not."

"If you don't, I will kill you."

"I know you will."

"Then we have an understanding."

"We do."

Simon gave another little nod before heading towards Kaylee's bunk. Mal was relieved that things with the doc were worked out. He hoped it would be that smooth with everyone else.

Once she got over the initial shock of the situation, Kaylee thought the cap'in and River were a mite shiny. They were a far better match, she figured. As much as she disapproved of cheating, she was glad that they found each other. Mal and Inara never worked. They were too closed off. Cap'in kept everything inside and no one, except maybe Zoe, could get to it. But River was a reader. She could see right through him and that made them perfect for each other among a list, she actually made a mental list because there was nothing else to do, of about twenty reasons why.

Zoe wasn't surprised. Ever since River started sleeping with Jayne she could see a change in him. He was always distant whenever they were together. She knew that it bugged him. She saw the looks he'd give them. Sure she never thought that they'd actually get together, but that didn't matter. The love in his eyes said it all. She knew her captain and sergeant, and she knew that River was probably the best thing in 'verse for him. Honestly she was happy for them, told them herself, even though it brought up how much she missed Wash.

Jayne wouldn't speak to anyone. He stayed in his bunk unless he ran out of alcohol and protein bars. River and Mal made themselves scarce whenever he emerged. He needed time and River would give that to him. He deserved that much. She did cheat on him, refuse to marry him because she was in love with Mal, and then deliver the news that the baby could possibly be Mal's too thus breaking his fragile heart.

The other person hit hard by the news was Inara. However she handled herself with grace. She wanted answers, so one day she decided to talk to Mal about everything.

********

"Checking the cargo?" Inara's voice floated to him from the catwalk outside of her shuttle. He was in the cargo bay taking inventory.

"More or less," Mal replied with a faint smile.

"May I speak with you?"

"You can always speak with me, 'Nara."

He set the box he had in his hands down and wandered up the steps to talk to her.

"When did you and River first…?" she asked a little shakily.

"The night we were left on Harrisburg after the Reavers attacked. I didn't ever mean to hurt you or anything it just…we just…"

"Is that why you broke things off the next day?"

"One of them. I didn't want to keep hurtin' you."

"We never did talk, did we?"

"No."

"We're just too different I suppose."

"I guess so."

"Thank you for breaking it off when you did. You could have kept us both."

"I'm not that kind of man. I don't like sharin' and I don't like to be shared."

"Well, I hope that you don't think that you'll have to share her like you shared me."

"Thanks for bein' so dignified, as always. You probably should of slapped me."

"Slapped you? I think not. I'm not angry, just a little sad. I always wanted us to work out."

"Me too."

There was a pause.

"Would you mind terribly if I stayed?"

"Not at all. I need someone 'round to teach that baby some sophistication."

"I'll do my best," she laughed.

He smiled and started back down the steps to finish taking inventory.

"I hope everything works out," she added before going back into her shuttle.

"You 'n me both," he muttered under his breath.

********

River hugged Simon tightly. The week was up, _finally_, and the results were in. It was time to talk to Jayne. She found him in the kitchen. He had stopped hiding out in his bunk and the drinking started to cut back down again. He was pulling himself together.

"Don't leave," she said quietly as she entered the room. He looked at her and seriously considered walking out. "Please don't. I know that I don't deserve to ever speak to you again, but I need to. Just hear me out. Five minutes. That's all I ask."

There was something in her eyes that made him nod in agreement and sit down at the table without a word. She breathed a sigh of relief and sat across from him.

"What I did was wrong. I have no illusions about it. I shouldn't have cheated on you, but I shouldn't have stayed in the first place. I stayed even though I didn't love you and I'm sorry. I only ended up hurting you. I don't deserve your forgiveness. You can hate me. Blame me for this, not Mal."

"Gorramit girl! I don't hate you! I should, but I don't."

"No, you don't hate me. You hate him. It isn't his fault that I fell in love with him. It isn't his fault that he fell in love with me."

"But the hundan slept with you when you were with me!"

"What _we_ did is wrong, but we _both_ took part in that! He cheated on Inara too, Jayne."

"That don't make it right!"

"I'm not saying that it is! I'm saying the opposite! I can't justify it at all except for telling you that I love him! I was in love with him when you first came to me that night right here. We agreed on just sex and that's all I wanted because of him. I thought that I could move on, but I must have miscalculated."

"You were only with me 'cause I was there?"

"In the beginning, yes. But then I got to know you. You're a decent man. You can be crass and abrasive, but you can be sweet and caring. I really genuinely like you. I even love you, but I'm not _in_ love with you."

"No, you love _him_."

"He has always been there."

"And I tried to sell you to the Feds once. I know that I hated you at first, but ya grew on me."

"And you grew on me."

"But you can't love me."

"I'm not right for you. You need someone that loves you with no exceptions."

"Don't mean that I loved you any less."

"I don't have the right to, but I need to ask a favor."

"What kind of favor?"

"I want you to do something for me. I want you to stay here on Serenity. I know that you've been thinking about leaving."

"I have. I don't wanna watch you 'n him all kissy…"

"I want you here. You were here before I was. This is your home. I shouldn't run you out."

"But you'll be here and I will and I can't have you."

"You can have my friendship."

"That ain't 'nough for me."

"But it's better than never seeing me ever again, isn't it?"

"I guess…"

"If you stay, please stay civil with Mal. I don't want my baby growing up around that."

"About the baby, do you know who the daddy is yet?"

"I do."

********

Mal was in his bunk looking for his gloves. He didn't know where he had put them. The hatch opened and a few seconds later he felt her small hands trail across his shoulders. He smiled and turned around to see her.

"Hey darlin'. What brings you to my bunk?" he asked as he encircled his arms around her tiny waist.

"You do."

They kissed for a long amount of time since they had to keep their affections from prying eyes until everything worked out. He resumed the search. She sighed and easily found the gloves. She took one of his wrists in her hand and slipped it on. She did the same with the other hand.

"Thank you, sweetheart."

He kissed her on the forehead.

"Did you talk to that doc brother of yours today?"

"I did."

"How is everything?"

"Good."

"That's good."

"I also spoke with Jayne today," she sighed as she plopped down onto his bed.

"Oh?" he asked.

"I worked it out."

"Worked it out?"

"He's going to stay here and keep things civil between you two."

"I know that you're a mind readin' genius, but how did you pull that off?"

"Well…"

"Money? You paid him off didn't you? No, you _slept_ with him didn't you?!?"

"Calm down! I only talked to him!"

"Talkin' got through to _Jayne_?"

"He still loves me. He's hurt, angry, jealous…but he doesn't hate me."

"No one could hate you."

"Besides, I convinced him to stick around and be like an uncle for _our_ baby."

"_Our_ baby?" he asked while his heart pounded in his ears.

"Simon got the results back…you're going to be a father."

He smiled wider than he ever had and kneeled so they were eye level. After putting his arms around her, he kissed her gently.

"We're gonna have us a littlest one…" he beamed.

"Littlest?"

"You're my little albatross. Little is already taken."

She laughed. "I see your logic there."

"I'm gonna be a daddy…"

"Yes you are."

"I love you."

"I love you too."

"And I love you…" he added as he talked to her tummy.

She laughed and they kissed again with all of passion and sweetness their first kiss had and they knew that this kiss was just the beginning.

********

Over the course of her pregnancy they kept moving forward. She moved into his bunk and then they got married. It was a beautiful ceremony, one that Jayne politely attended although he was drunk the entire time. Everyone thought that they were moving too fast, but to them it felt natural. Everything about their relationship felt natural.

What felt like the most natural thing in the 'verse was when they held their son nine months after that night on Harrisburg. Mal held River while she held their little, _littlest_, Daniel Hoban Reynolds. She looked up at Mal and declared, "You were right. That was _not_ a mistake."

"I hate to say I told you so, but…I told you so."

"You just had to rub that in, didn't you?"

"Bein' right 'round you is very rare. I take what I can get."

She laughed. "That's true."

"See littlest, your mother is really ruttin' smart."

"Don't swear in front of Daniel!"

"Sorry there buddy. She's really _freakin' _smart. Better?"

"Better."

He kissed Daniel on the top of the head before kissing River softly. Daniel started to cry in protest. Mal laughed and picked him up carefully. His crying calmed.

"I think that our littlest guy is a bit jealous," Mal smirked.

"He doesn't want you to take away my attention."

"Your mother is real great, and I'm afraid that there's only one of her to go 'round. We're gonna have to learn how to share her."

"I think that I can manage sharing my time with both of you."

He smiled at her and gently put Daniel back in her arms. He kissed her cheek.

"Here's somethin' you should know, Daniel. There will never be another her, ever. She's one of a kind. So are you. Who else has a beautiful genius mother and a washed up Browncoat for a father?"

"You're not washed up."

"Not since I got me you two."

"I feel the same way."

They exchanged smiles.

"He's gonna be somethin' else," Mal commented while looking at his son's dark eyes.

"The 'verse won't know what hit it."

"No, it won't."

"He's going to be a pilot."

"No, he's going to be a captain like me."

"No…he's going to take after me."

"I think he's gonna be a captain."

"A pilot."

"Captain."

"A pilot."

"A captain_ and_ a pilot."

"Mostly a pilot…"

He laughed. Everything definitely worked out. It was true, there would never be another River. Ever. And that River chose to be with him.

**The end**

_Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed it! _


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